Banks Beg Treasury: “Make Stablecoins BORING!” 😒💸 #FinanceChaos

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The American Bankers Association (ABA), now joined by 52 other banks who clearly have nothing better to do, just sent a letter to the Treasury begging them to stop making stablecoins fun. Ever heard of a “boring” financial instrument? That’s what Congress wants! 🤡

This letter is basically the banking world’s version of a toddler throwing a tantrum over a new toy. They’re mad because the Treasury proposed rules about stablecoins and the ABA is like, “NOPE, we wrote the rules, and they said NO INTEREST!” 🚫💸

Associations Warn Of Risks To Traditional Banking

The ABA’s main argument? Stablecoins should be for paying bills, not getting rich. Because nothing says “financial stability” like letting people earn interest on crypto while banks struggle to give you 0.01% on your savings. Groundbreaking. 🏦😅

They’re also worried about “loopholes” that might let crypto platforms offer high-yield incentives. Like, duh, that’s the entire point of crypto! But hey, maybe if they ban interest, we can all just go back to using checks. 🧾

Community banks, which probably still use fax machines, are panicking about deposit outflows. Imagine! People might actually want to put their money somewhere that gives them a return instead of a thank-you note. 😬

The letter claims this could cost banks $1.5 trillion in lending capacity. Translation: They’re scared people might stop using banks altogether. Surprise, surprise! 🤯

To “solve” this crisis, the ABA wants the Treasury to define “interest” so broadly that even a free coffee coupon from a stablecoin issuer would count. Because nothing says “regulation” like treating every gesture like a tax evasion scheme. 🫖

Debate Over Stablecoins Delays Market Structure Bill

Meanwhile, the Market Structure Bill-Senator Lummis’s “masterpiece” of legislation-is stuck in limbo because Republicans and crypto bros can’t agree on whether stablecoins should be a savings account or a snack. 🍕

Senate Republicans missed their September deadline because, surprise, politics. Crypto-friendly Democrats tried to fix the bill but got shut down by Republicans who’d rather fight than pass laws. It’s like watching a toddler’s tea party. 🧊

Crypto advocates are now begging Congress to act fast. Because nothing says “leadership” like passing a law while everyone’s distracted by memes and avocado toast. 🥑

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2025-11-05 15:30