Banksters vs. Crypto: Who Will Win the Stablecoin Showdown? 🤑

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Oh, what a scrumptious squabble we have here! A gaggle of over 125 crypto companies and their chums-including the bigwigs like Coinbase, Gemini, and Kraken-have decided to give the US banking lobbyists a good old-fashioned tickle fight. 🥊

The prize? The right to sprinkle interest on stablecoin deposits like fairy dust. Who knew money could be so magical? ✨

The Banks’ Whiny Wail: “Tweak the GENIUS Act, Please!” 😭

The trouble started when the GENIUS Act (yes, they really called it that) said, “No dividends for stablecoin issuers like Tether!” But, oh ho! There’s a loophole big enough to drive a crypto-truck through. Third-party platforms-those cheeky crypto exchanges-are slipping yields to users like sweets at a party. 🍬

The banks, with their stuffy suits and frown lines, are now stomping their feet and crying “Regulatory arbitrage!” They claim it’s a systemic risk, but let’s be honest: they’re just jealous they can’t offer 4% yields. 😏

In their doom-mongering briefings, they warned Capitol Hill of a $6.6 trillion exodus from banks to crypto platforms. “The sky is falling!” they cried. “Mortgages will crumble! Business loans will vanish!” Chicken Littles, the lot of them. 🐔

Crypto Coalition Strikes Back: “Hands Off Our Yields, Banksters!” 🚀

On December 18, the crypto gang penned a letter to the Senate Banking Committee, sharper than a witch’s nose. “Don’t you dare touch the GENIUS Act!” they wrote. “Reopening this can of worms would make markets as predictable as a Dahl plot twist. And we all know how those end.” 📜

“Reopening this issue would be like letting the Twits back into the house-pure chaos. Markets need certainty, not a game of legislative musical chairs!” 🎪

They also called the banks’ stability concerns a load of old tosh. “Protectionism!” they scoffed. “Banks just want to keep their low-interest monopoly. Meanwhile, we’re sharing the treasure with the common folk!” 🏴‍☠️

“Stablecoin rewards are like golden tickets-except everyone gets one, not just Charlie. Banks? They’d rather you eat cabbage.” 🍫

The Banksters are trying to stop platforms like @Gemini, @coinbase, and @krakenfx from giving you stablecoin rewards. The GENIUS Act already settled this-stablecoin issuers can’t offer rewards, but platforms like Gemini can. Banks just want to hog the chocolate factory. 🍫✋ – Tyler Winklevoss (@tyler) December 19, 2025

Tyler Winklevoss, Gemini’s co-founder, chimed in with a zinger: “Banks are trying to relitigate a settled issue. It’s like arguing over whether the BFG should share his dreams-just let it go!” 🌙

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2025-12-20 23:27