Prenetics Global Limited, that very fancy health sciences firm linked to David Beckham himself, has decided to quit buying Bitcoin in 2026. Seems the corporate Bitcoin treasure hunt ain’t quite the gold rush it once was-though one might wonder if Beckham’s hairline was the real casualty here.
The company, bless its cotton socks, confirmed it stopped its daily Bitcoin jamboree in December 2025 and won’t be scooping up any more digital doubloons. They’ll keep their existing stash, of course, but this shift reads like a man swapping his dancing shoes for slippers after a long night of two-stepping. The Bitcoin bear market, that grumpy old grouch, has got firms thinking twice-though honestly, who wouldn’t?
Bitcoin’s Slide: A Lesson in Not Putting All Your Eggs in a Volatile Basket 🐣
When Bitcoin took a nosedive in November and December 2025, it was like watching a circus act gone wrong. MicroStrategy, bless its tender soul, saw its stock plummet more than the coin itself-a fine example of how leverage can turn a walk in the park into a freefall. Equity-funded Bitcoin schemes? Well, they’re like betting on a horse with a limp and then wondering why you’re broke.
And lo! MicroStrategy’s share price went from “I’m rich!” to “I’m broke!” faster than a Mississippi steamboat without a paddle. Over 60% down in six months? That’s not investing-it’s Russian roulette with a calculator. Talk about turning a solid business into a crypto sideshow!
For the average Joe company, this kind of volatility is like trying to pour tea into a hurricane-messy, unpredictable, and guaranteed to stain your reputation. Shareholders, those fickle folk, would rather see cash flow than crypto dreams. Prenetics, it seems, has caught on-choosing to play it safe rather than gamble with its balance sheet like a riverboat gambler with a cold.
Now, Prenetics still shares a cuppa with Beckham through IM8, their premium health brand. But with IM8’s revenue growing faster than a weed in a rainstorm, the company’s priorities shifted from financial jujitsu to expanding its health empire. Why chase crypto’s wild goose when you can roast a proper tea egg?
By halting Bitcoin purchases, Prenetics has traded crypto’s rollercoaster for a steadier path-keeping its digital coins but dodging the wild swings. It’s the business equivalent of wearing a seatbelt while everyone else is skydiving without a parachute. And really, who needs the drama?
So, as the corporate Bitcoin fever cools, one might say Prenetics has joined the ranks of the pragmatists. After all, in a world where Bitcoin can go from “hallelujah” to “halleluiah,” it’s wise to keep your powder dry-and your tea hotter. 🍵
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2026-01-02 00:27