About 40 days ago—give or take a moment for tea—the ever-mysterious TopMob announced that Bhutan’s Royal Government, through the meticulously titled Druk Holding and Investments (DHI), shuffled off 600 BTC to Unknown Destinations™ and sat smugly atop a cardboard box brimming with 10,070 BTC. Fast-forward a mere forty days and—wham, bam, thank you, ma’am—2,584 of these shiny digital coins have gone on a gap year, totalling a breezy $248 million in assets. Someone in Bhutan’s accounting department surely needed a stiff drink and a good lie down. 🕵️♂️
Bhutan’s Bitcoin Pile on a Diet
Back in April—around the time one’s thoughts turn to spring cleaning—Bhutan, that mountainous country more famous for Gross National Happiness than Gross National Crypto, trimmed its reserves to something less, well, elephantine. On March 24, the cryptic seers at Arkham Intelligence recorded the government clutching onto 10,070 BTC like a miser on his last penny. Now, that number sits at a svelte 7,486 BTC—which, in real-world money, is flirting rather brazenly with $720 million. In forty days, Bhutan’s BTC trove was 2,584 coins lighter. One must wonder if someone mistook the “send” button for “snooze.” 🟢
Each errant coin from these transfers zipped off to the crypto version of Narnia: a clutch of mysterious addresses known only to certain nocturnal elves (or, possibly, accountants). Bhutan, ever the individualist, acquired its great hoard by mining—practically with candle and pickaxe, one supposes. Some say the sell-off helped juice up the mining rigs, while Prime Minister Tshering Tobgay claims the loot went toward hospitals and boosting the pay packets of civil servants. A noble pursuit, but less fun than imagining the King buying a golden throne with a bitcoin-shaped backrest. 🪙
Neither Bhutanese officials nor DHI, the kingdom’s rather grandiloquent holding company and digital coffer-keeper, bothered with public prattle about this April slimming. Perhaps they were too busy counting the remaining coins. Yet, Bhutan still leaves El Salvador in the dust, clinging tightly to the prestigious title of Fourth Biggest National Bitcoin Hoarder—just shy of the bronze medal but streets ahead of El Salvador. “Not the biggest,” they might sigh, “but by George, certainly not the smallest!”
The United States currently sips champagne atop the leaderboard with 198,012 BTC (don’t ask what they plan to do with it), followed by the UK with 61,245 BTC and North Korea’s Lazarus Group—basically a James Bond villain with a digital wallet—managing an eyebrow-raising 8,358 BTC, narrowly pipping Bhutan’s current 7,486 BTC stash. Bhutan may have lost a few coins but can still trade them for a brand new mountain or a very, very large yak. 🏔️
El Salvador brings up the rear with 6,166 BTC, piling up coins like a diligent squirrel, one BTC per day, while the UK, ever the contrary Brit, refuses to treat their holding as anything more than a rainy day fund. One suspects they’re saving up for biscuits.
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2025-05-03 22:29