Billion-Dollar Bitcoin Buy? More Like a Crypto Party! 🎉

Oh, so they’re back to the billion-dollar Bitcoin buys, are they? Because nothing says “I’m a genius” like spending a small fortune on a digital token that’s basically a 2009-era meme. 🧠💸

Strategy’s now got 687,410 BTC, which is like having a vault full of “I told you so” notes. At $75k a pop, they’ve basically turned their office into a cryptocurrency casino. 🎰

And guess what? The price of Bitcoin is now $90k, which means Strategy’s profit is basically a fancy term for “I’m rich, but also very, very nervous.” 🤯

Strategy has acquired 13,627 BTC for ~$1.25 billion at ~$91,519 per bitcoin. As of 1/11/2026, we hodl 687,410 $BTC acquired for ~$51.80 billion at ~$75,353 per bitcoin. $MSTR $STRC

– Michael Saylor (@saylor) January 12, 2026

Meanwhile, the stock market is doing what it does best: acting like a toddler on a sugar rush. MSTR dropped 65% since last summer. Because nothing says “stability” like a company that’s 50% Bitcoin and 50% “pray for the best.” 🙏

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2026-01-12 17:20