Bit Digital Wants to Raise Half a Billion—Will They Mine Gold or Just Dreams? 🤔💸

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Bit Digital throws its battered, hopeful hat into the stock market, seeking an eye-watering $500 million through an at-the-market equity offering. H.C. Wainwright & Co. gets to play middleman here, pocketing up to 3% of shares sold—as if mining Bitcoin wasn’t already lucrative enough for the cunning! 🤑

Bit Digital: Into the Breach of High-Performance Tech—With Empty Hands, But Grand Designs

Out skulks Bit Digital, a Bitcoin miner chasing after $500 million with a hunger not unlike a man after a crust of bread in a starving winter. This shiny sum, outlined in an April 30 filing, may well eclipse Bit Digital’s entire market worth—about $429 million for anyone keeping his nose to the grindstone. Of course, if they actually pull this off, expect your shares to feel, well… thinner than a soup made from a single bone.

The wise chroniclers at theminermag.com assure us that Bit Digital will trickle out new shares now and then, helped along by the ever-helpful H.C. Wainwright & Co.—and for each deal, these bankers will take their cut like a shrewd street performer passing the hat. And for those who truly suffer for numbers, Bit Digital has 203.8 million shares already waltzing through the world.

What will they do with this gold, if fortune smiles? The company dreams aloud—general business expenses, new machines (because computers are hungrier than poets in the spring), and a noble leap into the world of cloud services and high-performance computing. It’s modernization by way of throwing money at the abyss and hoping for thunder.

But oh, what a bleak time for Bitcoin miners! The hashprice—a word that inspires little hope and less profit—crawls below $50 per petahash per second, making even the heartiest miner sigh into his soup. Bit Digital, in its next-to-last breath of 2024, confessed its own hashcost was $44/PH/s, and that’s before counting the price of office coffee or existential dread.

With profits shrinking like last season’s wool coat, mining firms everywhere squirm for new sources of coin: selling shares, borrowing cash, even dreaming of AI and high-performance computing as if these were magic beans for the digital age. Each new quarter brings fresh headlines—over $1.6 billion snatched up in equity, more than $4.6 billion wrung from debt—as if throwing money in all directions might stop the slow march of hunger. Welcome to the banquet, comrades—just don’t expect dessert. 🍞💼😂

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2025-05-05 04:57