Bitcoin Bears Take a Breath: Steinbeck’s Take on the Market’s DJ Set! 🐯📉

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Now here’s a tale of dollars and dragons-no, wait, Bitcoin. Glassnode’s senior researcher, a man who probably knows blockchain better than Steinbeck knew Salinas Valley, has scribbled a dispatch on the “Unrealized Loss”-a term that sounds as delightful as a root canal. Turns out, the beast Bitcoin hasn’t even flinched at bear market levels. Pass the Dramamine. 🤢

Bitcoin’s “Relative Unrealized Loss”-1.3%, or Why You’re Not Broke Yet 🤷‍♂️

Peruse the blockchain’s sprawling account scroll, and you’ll find the “Relative Unrealized Loss,” a fancy glim of how much BTC-holding noobs (and grizzled old OGs) are currently grumbling about their portfolios. It’s like tallying up everyone’s I-put-my-house-down-on-Bitcoin regret. This ain’t the Wild West; it’s the Wild Crypto. 🐎_CRYPTO

Here’s the rub: the blockchain’s scribes pore over every coin’s history, sniffing out the last time someone paid more for it than the current price. If the coin’s current value is below its ex-owners’ cost basis, voilà-an unrealized loss. Like a ghost writing checks you can’t cash. Cryptocurrency’s version of debt collectors. 💀💸

The magic number here? 1.3%. Of the market cap, no less. That’s like saying your neighbor just spent $3 million on a yacht but only lost $39,000 so far-luxury problem, not ours 😑. In the twilight of past bear markets, this figure would be a bustin’ out at least 5%, and in full-blown froth? Oh, it’d be shouting obscenities at 50%. But here? The market’s just whisperin’. Because 1.3% is clearly the new 100% in Web3, right? 😂

Check out this chart from CryptoVizArt (name checks all boxes for mystery) to see the trend:

The line, folks, looks about as excited as a wet sock on a lemur. No earthquakes, no hot tub meltdowns. Just a cozy cuddle between the 0.5% and 2% range. CoinMarketCap’s got more drama than this graph. 📉

So what’s a Glassnode researcher to do but shrug and say, “The pain ain’t come knockin’ yet.” Translation: Keep your shorts on, hodlers. The bear hasn’t roared. Unless you count the chance of a $100,000 drop. But that’s just marketers trying to sell you crypto ETFs. Trust the sentiment. 🤡

BTC Price: $109,500-or Not, Who’s Counting?

Bitcoin dipped below $107k in those glittering winter days and then climbed back up like it was wearing a midlife crisis tuxedo. Now it’s chilling at $109,500, where it looks lost between “investment” and “monkey bars for the soul.”

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2025-11-01 05:14