Bitcoin ETFs Flourish Amid Trump’s Delightfully Chaotic Liberation Day! 🚀

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In a stunning plot twist that has absolutely no bearing on real life, the Spot Bitcoin ETFs in the Good Old U.S.A. have decided to stop sulking and instead, swim merrily back into the verdant pastures of net inflows, just as Trump prepares to unveil his brand-spanking new “Liberation Day” tariffs. Because what’s a bit of international economic upheaval between friends? 🍿

As revealed by the ever-so-reliable SoSoValue sages, on the second day of April (also known as the day when bizarre occurrences seem to peak), the dozen or so spot Bitcoin ETFs managed to rake in a whopping $220.76 million in fresh net inflows. This was quite the comeback from a previous three-day streak of losing more than $320 million—a grand spectacle that could only be compared to a particularly messy public breakup. 😅

Most of the lucre flowed into the coffers of ARK 21Shares’ ARKB and Fidelity’s FBTC, which collectively decided $130.15 million and $118.79 million were simply too good to ignore. Just yesterday, these poor beleaguered ETFs were watching their treasures dwindle, as distraught investors fled the scene like a flock of startled pigeons.

Grayscale’s tiny but incredibly optimistic Bitcoin Trust and Bitwise’s BITB decided they were feeling lucky too, scooping up $34.28 million and $33.38 million in inflows. Meanwhile, the peripheral players like Franklin Templeton’s EZBC, VanEck’s HODL, and Valkyrie’s BRRR were left modestly holding their hats, garnering more subtle inflows of $10.01 million, $47.33 million, and $2.69 million, respectively. One could almost hear faint applauses echoing in their small corners of the crypto world. 🎩

Oddly enough, the behemoth known as BlackRock’s IBIT, the Goliath of the asset management brigade, decided to swim against this tide of optimism, experiencing $115.87 million in net redemptions—its first hiccup in three periods of time that the sun rose and set.

The grand total of trading volume across the dizzying array of these ETFs hit a gargantuan $2.51 billion in one day alone. This introduces a curious phenomenon: since their inception, they’ve mysteriously laden the coffers with $36.24 billion in net inflows. Quite the impressive feat for fancy digital beans!

With all these shenanigans taking place, Bitcoin itself rose a cheeky 3.6%—bouncing around $87,100—right after flirting briefly with a dip earlier that day. It seems this little number sure knows how to make an entrance just in time for Trump’s grand tariff announcement, which some dubious analysts suggest might help Bitcoin in the long run. Because clearly, chaos breeds opportunity, or so the adage goes. 🤔

Nevertheless, Trump’s rather aggressive tariffs, the kind that would make good tea-spilling fodder, kicked off with a flat 10% on all imports (and a tad more on certain companions), rattled the markets—both of the crypto variety and the good ol’ fashioned traditional sort. Markets, it seems, thrive on uncertainty like bees on honey.

Our dear friend Arthur Hayes, co-founder of BitMEX, uttered some prophetic words about tariffs spooking the markets (as they tend to do), insisting that all will be right in the universe as long as Bitcoin stays above $76,500 until the day of tax reckoning arrives on April 15. He also cautioned traders to keep their wits about them lest they get metaphorically sliced into bits by the market’s manic swings. A splendid lifestyle choice, if you ask me.

As we reach our thrilling conclusion, Bitcoin (BTC), the darling of many an eccentric investor, found itself down 1.1% over the past day, trading at $83,242 per coin. To infinity and beyond—unless, of course, it takes a sudden detour through the realm of awkward fluctuations. 📉

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2025-04-03 09:52