Bitcoin ETFs: Money Vanishing Faster Than My Last Diet

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Bitcoin ETF Panic

What’s Happening in Cryptoland:

  • Picture this: U.S.-listed spot bitcoin ETFs losing mind-boggling amounts of dough just because the price took a nosedive below $100,000. 🤯
  • Imagine losing $2.6 billion in just three weeks. It feels like the financial equivalent of that time I spent $1000 on adulting courses and still didn’t learn how to properly fold a fitted sheet. 🙄

So there were these 11 U.S.-listed spot bitcoin exchange-traded funds (ETFs), and they pulled off the second-biggest outflow in history, coughing up a whopping $869.86 million on Thursday alone. Yeah, just like I destine half of my paycheck to buy snacks and then claim they were for hosting events. 🍿

Investors have pirouetted around with $2.64 billion in just three weeks, coaxing us to don the tinfoil hats and believe something sinister is afoot. It’s akin to our love for Diet Coke, full of bubbly potential followed by the rapid descent of reality.

Meanwhile, Bitcoin was like, “See ya, I’ve got things to ponder now,” sledding below its $100,000 safety net. Throw in Wall Street’s paranoia and it was chaos at its finest. Ether ETFs were not spared either, shedding $259.72 million, possibly regretting the day they decided this might be a good idea.

At this moment, Bitcoin sits shyly around $97,500, tumbling over 5% in just 24 hours. It tripped and fell 11% in just a month. Not even those “Bitcoin millionaires” can stop a drop like this. But hey, who doesn’t enjoy a roller coaster ride now and then? 🎢

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2025-11-14 09:10