Bitcoin: Is Your Grandma About to Become a Whale? Facts That’ll Make CZ Blush

Okay, so former Binance CEO Changpeng “CZ” Zhao has declared that Bitcoin will become the global reserve currency. That’s right, the same guy who made “crypto exchange” a household term (at least in extremely nerdy households) is doubling down, and now he’s got receipts. Apparently, everyone from Wall Street to your dog’s daycare is hoarding BTC.

In 2017, folks cried tears of joy when BTC hit $1,000. By 2025? That’s barely enough for a bag of organic quinoa. Sorry, inflation.

CZ, being one of BTC’s day one fans, compared this year’s celebration to the sweet day in 2017 when a thousand bucks was more than pocket change. Then, almost like Bitcoin heard him, it sassed its way up to $124,128 the next month. Mic drop, anyone?

Who’s stacking sats? Let’s spill.

Buckle up: Data from BTC Treasuries says 17 new entities have started hoarding coins this month alone. (How do you even get invited to these parties?) Now, we’ve got 309 organizations that list “BTC hoarder” proudly on their LinkedIn. Of those, 177 are public companies. Try not to choke on your avocado toast.

In 2024, just 37 companies added BTC. In the first half of 2025, we’ve already got 51 more. Is this exponential growth, or are accountants just really bored? Over 35 public companies now hold at least 1,000 BTC each. Back in Q1, only 24 could say that. And each time someone piles on, their stock price pops off faster than a champagne cork at a crypto bro yacht party.

Let’s talk whales: Michael Saylor (yes, he of “I eat BTC for breakfast” fame) and Strategy are still the kingpins, squatting on 632,457 BTC. That’s about 3% of all coins out there. Saylor’s probably brushing his teeth with Bitcoin at this point.

Grand total: 3.68 million BTC chill in the treasuries of ETFs, funds, exchanges, companies, and governments-no word yet on which governments, but let’s imagine one is secretly Luxembourg. Out of around 19.9 million BTC in circulation, that leaves plenty of coins for your favorite meme investor to try and buy the dip. 🚀

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2025-08-29 10:07