Bitcoin & Quantum: Oh No 😱

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So, apparently, some very clever people at Coinbase are losing sleep over… quantum computers. 🙄 As if Bitcoin didn’t have enough to worry about. Their Head of Investment Research, David Duong, has decided to grace us with the news that the future might be a bit of a bother for our favorite digital gold.

He’s saying it’s not something to panic about today, which is always reassuring, isn’t it? Like telling a toddler there’s a monster under the bed, but only in, oh, say, a decade or so. 🤔

Two Ways Quantum Computers Could Ruin Everything (Maybe)

Apparently, there’s this thing called “Q-day”. And no, it’s not a shopping holiday. It’s the hypothetical moment when quantum computers get strong enough to basically pick the lock on Bitcoin’s whole system using these fancy algorithms, Shor’s and Grover’s to name a couple. Sounds… fun? 🥳

Turns out Bitcoin is built on two things – ECDSA (keeps your stuff safe) and SHA-256 (makes it all work). And quantum computers, being the contrarians they are, threaten both. As Mr. Duong so eloquently put it:

“That means quantum computers actually pose two separate threats.”

He’s worried about people stealing your Bitcoin, obviously. Like, assuming you even have any, the audacity! There’s this whole long-range/short-range attack thing… sounds terrifyingly technical, honestly. I just nod and pretend to understand.

“Long-range attacks against outputs whose public keys are already exposed onchain, and short-range attacks that could front-run spends as public keys appear in the mempool,” he added.

Apparently, a staggering 6.51 million Bitcoin (that’s like, a lot, right?) are potentially at risk. It’s mostly because people keep reusing addresses, which is a bit like leaving your front door unlocked, isn’t it? 🤦‍♀️ Especially those old-school Satoshi-era coins. Bless ’em.

And, because one threat wasn’t enough, quantum computers could mess with the mining process too. But apparently, that’s a problem for another day… which is good, because honestly, my brain is starting to hurt.

“We think quantum mining itself remains a lower-priority concern for now given scaling constraints, making signature migration the central issue,” he said.

So, What’s Bitcoin Going to Do About It?

Well, the plan involves a lot of very smart people coming up with even more complicated algorithms to fight fire with… even more fire. They’re looking at things like CRYSTALS-Dilithium and SPHINCS+. Honestly, it sounds like a rejected James Bond gadget. 🕵️‍♀️

There are two main scenarios: a sudden quantum breakthrough (panic!) or a slow, gradual progression (slightly less panic, but still panic). Either way, it could take anywhere from two to seven years to fix. See? Told you it wasn’t a problem for today.

Oh, and there’s also some advice about not reusing addresses and keeping your UTXOs (whatever those are) well-hidden. Basically, common sense, but you know, presented with a lot of jargon. 😉

“Best practices include avoiding address reuse, moving vulnerable UTXOs to unique destinations, and developing client-facing materials to institutionalize quantum-ready operations. This approach is supported by the current understanding that vulnerable scripts are not in production and that per-address fund limits mitigate concentration risk,” he mentioned.

Everyone’s opinion on this varies, naturally. Some experts think it’s a distant worry, others are less optimistic. One even predicted a Bitcoin encryption break by March 8, 2028. Dramatic, much? 🙄

But hey, at least it’s something to keep the crypto Twitterati buzzing. Right?

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2026-01-07 12:37