Bitcoin Rockets Past $112K: Meet the Millionaires, Leave Your Regrets at the Door

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It appears Bitcoin once more has tossed off the shackles of reason, soaring to heights that would have made Icarus jealous—and considerably wealthier. Investors, driven by a curious mixture of greed, hope, and possibly a dash of hysteria, have pushed up the price in such a way that even the most skeptical aunt must now nod gravely at family dinners. Imagine, if you will, a $200 million liquidation of BTC shorts happening near a “critical resistance level.” Resistance, you see, is but a word in the market’s vocabulary—one frequently ignored. 🚀

On Wednesday, Bitcoin (our protagonist, sometimes tragic, always dramatic) surpasses $112,000 for the first time, not so much walking as leaping across the line, up nearly 6% for the week. One wonders if Bitcoin considers humility a vice or merely a bad investment.

All of this bravado has nudged the total crypto market capitalization back to the $3.47 trillion mark—a figure last glimpsed, glass in hand, at the summer ball of June 2025. However, lest we get too carried away, the record of $3.73 trillion from December 2024 still winks at us from the past, as if to say, “Not bad, but don’t catch your breath just yet.”

As the charts climb, so do tariffs. President Trump—never one for subtlety—announces shiny new import taxes up to 40% against places like Malaysia, Kazakhstan, South Africa, Myanmar, and Laos, presumably because no global event is complete without a touch of international drama. Even Japan, oft serene, finds its rate nudged to 25%. The fun begins August 1, so mark your calendars, or better yet, bury your calendars in the yard for good luck.

Bitfinex analysts, sipping their tea and peering through monocles (or so one imagines), observe that a “healthier foundation” for Bitcoin could be forming through the mysterious process of “liquidating over-leveraged participants.” In the world of crypto, this phrase translates roughly to: “somebody somewhere lost a lot of money, which is fine as long as it wasn’t you.”

“The convergence between on-chain accumulation and off-chain exchange order flow paints a compelling picture: this rally has been built on solid ground, supported by real capital flows rather than short-lived speculative leverage.”

If that wasn’t clear, another explanation follows: “To maintain a constructive outlook”—because destructiveness rarely pays—“spot buyer dominance must persist.” In other words, the music will keep playing, provided you dance just so. 💃🕺

Bitcoin: Not Just a Coin, Now a Safe Haven With Fewer Potholes

Katalin Tischhauser, the research lead at Sygnum Bank and someone who has presumably resisted the urge to buy meme coins, asserts that Bitcoin’s miraculous upward journey since Trump’s so-called Liberation Day has been due to its new role as a safe-haven asset. She notes that on days when the S&P 500 sneezes, Bitcoin mysteriously decides to don its raincoat and stand firm.

“This has been supported by Bitcoin’s increasing status as a safe haven asset in the face of fiat debasement, also confirmed by the first US state signing a Bitcoin reserve bill into law, following the federal Bitcoin reserve established by Executive Order.”

For those who like their optimism quantitative, Glassnode data points out that since late April, the reserves of Bitcoin on exchanges have been steadily falling—a classic sign of “long-term confidence,” or possibly just everyone forgetting their passwords. Either way, the numbers are lower: 2.99 million BTC on May 21, down from 3.11 million BTC back in the halcyon days of March 13.

So here we are, awkwardly sipping cheap champagne while Bitcoin flirts shamelessly with history. And now, someone has embedded a YouTube link, possibly to explain none of this will last—but what does? Pour yourself a glass, refresh the chart, and carry on.

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2025-07-09 23:33