Bitcoin: Seriously? 🙄

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Okay, so Bitcoin went down. Like, it dipped below $87,000. Which, I don’t know, is that bad? Is it? Everyone’s always saying it’s going to the moon, but it seems to spend a lot of time just… hovering. And occasionally plummeting. It’s very stressful to watch, frankly. And now it’s “consolidating”? What does that even mean? It’s just sitting there being indecisive like me at a deli counter! 🥯

  • It went down. A lot of people knew this. They whisper about it.
  • It’s below $88,000. Does anyone even use Bitcoin to buy things? Like, groceries?
  • There’s a “bearish trend line.” A bearish trend line. Bears are involved now? This is getting ridiculous.🐻
  • If it goes up… then maybe it goes up? I’m still trying to understand this.

This Bitcoin Thing…

So, it couldn’t hold $89,000. Shocker. It went down to $88,000. Then it went down further to $86,500! It’s like watching someone try to parallel park. Just a series of corrections and near misses. Though, someone jumped in around $85,000 – probably trying to catch a falling knife, these people. They’re always trying to catch falling knives.

Now it’s correcting 23.6% of… something. Fibonacci retracements. Don’t even get me started. It’s just… numbers! Made up numbers! It’s all just made up. Bears are still lurking near $89,000…waiting. Always waiting to pounce. And now it’s below $88,000 AGAIN! And the “100 hourly Simple moving average”? What is this, algebra? I took that class in high school, and I immediately blocked it.

If it breaks $89,350, maybe it goes to $90,000? Okay, fine. Then $91,200? It’s just climbing numbers now… There’s also $92,000 and $92,500. It’s just going up! Why aren’t things clear?

Uh Oh…

But if it doesn’t? Then it goes down. Obviously. $87,000. Then $86,500. Then $85,500. It’s just a series of “thens.” And then more down. To $85,000, maybe. And if it really screws up, it’s going to $83,500! It’s a disaster, I tell you. A disaster!

Technical indicators… oh, please. The MACD is “losing pace.” The RSI is “near 50.” I FEEL like I’m losing pace. I FEEL like my RSI is near 100. Support levels: $85,500… and also $85,500. That’s reassuring. Resistance levels: $88,500 and $89,350. Just pick a number, already!

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2025-12-17 05:48