“Bitcoin: The Untamed Beast That Even CEOs Can’t Tame!”

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Ah, here comes Richard Teng, the grand puppeteer of Binance, hawking his gospel about Bitcoin. In a world tangled in tariffs and wall-building hysteria, he dares to call Bitcoin “the only truly neutral currency,” available 24/7, breaking borders like a tireless ghost haunting the global bazaar. Yes, the world burns and rages, but Bitcoin? It just smirks and saunters on, like that scrappy vagrant who refuses to plea for mercy.

#Bitcoin is the only truly neutral currency—available 24/7 worldwide, without bias or borders.

In a world of rising tensions and tariffs, BTC stands strong.

— Richard Teng (@_RichardTeng) April 17, 2025

Teng’s ode to Bitcoin sounds like a bedtime story for hopeful investors, a melodrama of decentralization and rebellion. No central banker’s leash can hold this wild beast—it laughs at borders and censorship alike, striding defiantly through the corridors of power and passing smugglers with a wink.

Our benevolent Oracle strikes again, warning that those who don’t snatch Bitcoin early will be left clutching empty pockets, paying a steep “premium” in the future. Such poetic fearmongering! One almost imagines him clutching a crystal ball, conjuring visions of golden crypto-chariots racing past reluctant nations and corporations.

State of Bitcoin markets

But wait—this rebel isn’t invincible. The market’s temperamental mood swings have slapped Bitcoin several times between 2023 and 2025, bruising its ego and trimming its sails. Glassnode whispers ominously: Bitcoin’s realized cap has climbed to a colossal $872 billion but growth has slowed to a pokey +0.9%. A snail’s pace for a supposed digital dynamo? Investors’ appetites are growing as fickle as a cat ignoring its dinner.

Profit and loss tango in equal measure, a dramatic balancing act that hints at investor fatigue and the dreaded “consolidation phase” where dreams of moonshots take a caffeine break, and the market sighs to find its new poise.

Volatility’s fickle hand nudges the profit/loss meter back to its old haunt—the median line that separates bulls from bears, as if Bitcoin itself is a gambler, toes barely skimming the edge of fortune’s knife, wondering: will it charge, or will it limp?

So, dear reader, watch closely as Bitcoin struts through storms and sunshine alike. Does it roar or merely whisper? Only time, and the chaos-loving crowds, will tell. Meanwhile, grab your popcorn 🍿.

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2025-04-17 18:29