In the shadow of the digital gold rush, Lombard Finance has orchestrated a token sale so absurd it makes the Soviet Five-Year Plans seem rational. With a $94.7 million haul-1,400% above its laughable $6.75 million target-the project now marches forward to build a Bitcoin DeFi ecosystem. One must ask: is this the dawn of financial liberation, or merely a new kind of collectivized madness?
- Lombard’s “Bard” token, now a digital totem for 21,340 “community members” (read: hopefuls), promises to redefine Bitcoin’s utility. Or at least its volatility.
- DeFi on Bitcoin? A contradiction in terms, but who needs logic when you can have 1% APY from Babylon Labs? 😂
- Funds will “develop products” and “grow the ecosystem”-code for “we’ll spend this until it’s gone.”
On September 3, as the world turned its eyes to Lombard’s “Community Sale,” the faithful rushed in, clutching their crypto wallets like pilgrims at a shrine. Jacob Phillips, Lombard’s co-founder, declared the sale a “testament to belief in Lombard’s ability to drive onchain Bitcoin demand.” One wonders if this belief includes a healthy dose of denial.
“We’re pleased to usher in 21,340 new and aligned community members,” Phillips said, as if aligning with a project that’s already lost $2.8 billion to bridge hacks is a badge of honor. “Phase 2,” he added, because nothing says “stability” like a roadmap with phases.
BARD, the governance token, will presumably let holders vote on whether to double down on this madness. Lombard’s LBTC token, a “yield-bearing” marvel, relies on Babylon Labs’ staking magic. All while avoiding the “major pitfalls” of cross-chain bridges-by which they mean the $2.8 billion that vanished into the ether. Or perhaps the literal ether, if you’re a crypto purist.
The Illusion of Decentralization
Lombard’s decentralized validator network is a noble attempt to outwit the system-or at least the hackers. But when your entire premise hinges on “avoiding counterparty risk,” one must ask: what exactly is being avoided? The risk of losing money? Or the risk of admitting you’ve already lost it?
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2025-09-03 22:53