There I was, sipping my lukewarm coffee on February 24, when Bitcoin decided to throw a pity party below $63,000, hitting $62,694 like it had just been told its life’s work was over. The RSI? A pitiful 43.21, which, if you ask me, is the emotional state of a person who’s lost their keys and their dignity. Jamie Dimon, ever the drama king, pointed out the parallels to 2008 as if he’s the only one who’s seen a financial crisis before-spoiler: he’s not.
The fear-and-greed index? A resounding 11/100. That’s not fear; that’s the vibe of a dating app profile that says “just looking for someone to hold my hand through a panic attack.” Liquidations hit $342.76 million in 24 hours, and open interest? A sad little $43.64 billion after the October 10 flash crash left it feeling like a deflated balloon at a toddler’s birthday party.
Possible Bitcoin pullback to $53-$55K
If you thought crypto’s outflows were over, CoinShares had other plans. Five straight weeks of $4 billion vanishing like it’s March and you’ve forgotten where you left your winter coat. Monday alone? Spot ETFs coughed up $200 million, because nothing says “confidence” like selling your Bitcoin while wearing a clown nose of regret.
Meanwhile, the U.S. and Iran are playing “let’s pretend we’re not about to start a war” while crypto investors clutch their pearls. Samer Hasn of XS.com, a man who probably owns a spreadsheet for his morning coffee routine, predicts a dive to $53-$55K. And Matt Howells-Barby of Kraken, ever the optimist, says $60K is a “key support level.” Sure, Matt. Let’s all just huddle together and hope the bulls bring snacks.
What the future holds
Strategy, a software company that clearly forgot what “strategy” means, now has $9 billion in unrealized BTC losses. Michael Saylor, crypto’s resident “I’m fine, everything’s fine” guy, insists this is a buying opportunity. “Bitcoin is on sale,” he said, because nothing screams “value” like a 30% discount on existential dread.
Glassnode, the oracle of blockchain data, claims someone’s been hoarding 400,000 BTC between $60K-70K. Mining difficulty? Through the roof. So, is this a “buy the dip” moment or just a group project in collective delusion? At press time, BTC was trading at $64,110, having clawed back 0.08% with the grace of a sloth on a treadmill. Progress, folks. What a time to be alive.
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2026-02-25 03:37