Well well well, Bitcoin decided to take a little dive off the deep end Monday morning, plunging to a whopping 11-day low of $115,000. Because nothing says “good morning” like watching your portfolio imitate a sinking ship. 🚢💥
Altcoins, being the followers they are, immediately panicked and jumped overboard too-ETH‘s down to $4,300, XRP‘s casually flirting with the $3 resistance like it’s a high school crush it can’t commit to. 🌊💔
Bitcoin dumped harder than a bad boyfriend on Thursday and Friday, then ghosted us all weekend.
US futures markets reopen, and what do you know? BTC’s selling off again. RUDE.
WHO’S DOING THIS TO US? WAS IT ELON? WAS IT THE ZUCK? WAS IT MY EX?
– Satoshi Stacker (@StackerSatoshi) August 18, 2025
This whole mess conveniently timed itself with US futures reopening *and* the crack of dawn in Asia. Coincidence? Or is it just the Ukraine-Russia war knocking over the crypto Jenga tower again? 🕵️♀️
Remember Saturday? When Trump and Putin’s “big boy peace talks” ended with all the decisiveness of a middle-school group project? Trump later claimed “big progress”-which, in politician-speak, means absolutely nothing-and told us to “stay tuned.” Like this is some kind of Netflix cliffhanger. 🍿🤡
Then Sunday rolled around, and POTUS dropped another Trump classic: blaming Zelenskyy like he’s the kid who brought a calculator to a math test and ruined the curve.
“President Zelenskyy could end this war right now, folks. *Right now.* Orrr he could keep fighting. Just remember: Crimea was Obama’s fault (gave it up like a participation trophy!), and Ukraine was NEVER getting into NATO. FAKE NEWS NEVER CHANGES.”
Meanwhile, Bitcoin’s price action has been as graceful as a drunk giraffe on roller skates-plummeting over $3K like it got dared by its crypto-bro friends. Most altcoins followed suit because misery loves company. ETH’s down 3%, XRP’s at its dramatic $3 resistance phase, and SOL/DOGE are down 4-5% because today just isn’t their day. 🌪️
The real winner here? LINK, up 5% like that one overachiever in gym class. Over $450 million in positions got wrecked-115,000 traders turned into abstract art, courtesy of liquidations. Longs took the brunt of it, because sometimes life just kicks you when you’re already down. 💥😭
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2025-08-18 08:09