Brazil’s Bank Says “Hold My Bitcoin” 🤑 + Venezuela’s Crypto Hustle 💸

Brazil’s Biggest Bank is Finally Cool with Bitcoin (Sort Of)

Itau Unibanco, the Brazilian banking giant with more customers than a Black Friday sale (nearly 100 million!), has finally decided Bitcoin isn’t just for nerds and criminals. 🧑‍💻✨

In a report that’s basically their way of saying, “We’ve been watching from the sidelines, but now we’re jumping in the pool,” Itau is calling Bitcoin a “diversification tool” and a “hedge against currency devaluation.” Aka, it’s their fancy way of saying, “Your money might not turn into confetti if you put some in Bitcoin.” 🎉

Their analysts are like, “Bitcoin is its own thing now, guys. It’s not just a phase. Put up to 3% of your portfolio in it, and maybe you’ll thank us later.” 🤷‍♀️

TRM Labs: Venezuela’s Crypto Game is Strong (Despite Everything)

TRM Labs, the blockchain detectives 🕵️‍♂️, just dropped a report on Venezuela’s crypto scene, and guess what? It’s not all about dodgy deals. 🇻🇪💼

Turns out, Venezuelans are using stablecoins because, well, their local currency is about as stable as a Jenga tower in an earthquake. 🌋 TRM Labs is like, “Yeah, they’re using it out of necessity, not to fund their secret villain lair.” 🦹‍♂️

Apparently, it’s the same story as Argentina-stablecoins are the new dollar, but without the drama. 💵

El Salvador + Elon’s AI = School, But Make It Cool

El Salvador is teaming up with xAI (Elon Musk’s latest brainchild) to bring AI to 5,000 schools. 📚🤖

Their plan? Roll out Grok, an AI model, to make learning “personalized.” Aka, it’s like having a tutor who never gets tired of your questions. 😴→😃

According to a press release, this AI will adapt to every student’s “particularities, language, learning pace, and interests.” So, basically, it’s like having a teacher who finally gets you. 🎓✨

FAQ ❓

• What’s Itau’s hot take on Bitcoin?
  “Put 3% of your money in it, and maybe it won’t all disappear in a recession.” 🤑
• Why is Venezuela into crypto?
  Because their currency is about as reliable as a weather forecast. ☔️→☀️
• What’s El Salvador’s AI school plan?
  “Let’s make learning less boring with Elon’s robots.” 🤖📚