Breaking News: Smarter Web Company Goes Bitcoin Crazy with 295 New Coins! 🚀💰

In a move that can only be described as “brilliant” if you squint hard enough, The Smarter Web Company (AQUIS: SWC | OTCQB: TSWCF | FRA: 3M8), a firm that is apparently based in London and not in a wizard’s tower, has decided to add a mere 295 BTC to its already impressive collection. This is all part of their “10 Year Plan,” which, if we’re honest, sounds suspiciously like a plot from a particularly convoluted fantasy novel.

Now, let’s talk numbers, shall we? They bought these shiny digital coins at an average price of £89,000 each (that’s about $119,412 for those who prefer their currency in a more American flavor), which totals a staggering £26,255,143. Yes, you read that right. With this latest acquisition, their total bitcoin stash has ballooned to 2,395 BTC, which is a number that sounds impressive until you realize it’s just a lot of zeros strung together. The overall average purchase price? A mere £82,399 per bitcoin (or around $110,555), leading to a total investment that would make even Scrooge McDuck raise an eyebrow: £197,346,551.

But wait, there’s more! The company has reported a Year-to-Date BTC Yield of 55,069%. Yes, you read that correctly. That’s not a typo; that’s a yield that could make a potato farmer weep with envy. And if that wasn’t enough to make you question your life choices, they also boast a 30-Day BTC Yield of 76%. It’s like they’ve found the secret to turning digital coins into gold, or at least into something that resembles gold if you squint hard enough.

As if that wasn’t enough to make you want to throw your savings into a digital wallet, they’ve also got about £700,000 in net cash just sitting there, waiting for the next bitcoin investment opportunity to come along like a cat waiting for a laser pointer to appear. And let’s not forget, The Smarter Web Company has been embracing the bitcoin payment policy since 2023, because apparently, they believe that cryptocurrency is the key to unlocking the future of finance. Or at least, it’s a good way to keep the accountants busy.

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2025-08-12 12:10