Crypto News

In the last few hours, the oligarchs of Twitter and the grand pooh-bah in the White House have exchanged threats that would make Shakespeare’s villains blush. Trump, in his infinite wisdom, dares threaten to slash Musk’s subsidies—perhaps thinking he’s still in a game of Monopoly—while Musk, not to be outdone, whispers dark secrets about the President’s connection to Jeffrey Epstein. Oh, the scandals and the comedy! 🎭

Our friend, the whale—who’s been hoarding LINK like a squirrel with acorns—has now cashed out a sweet $5.87 million on this latest transfer. Over the past year, this big fish slipped out 1.75 million LINK, which was bought at a modest $7.03 each (talk about a parking ticket on the moon). Now, those tokens are worth about $12.3 million, making this whale look like a real crypto wizard—until the market decides it’s not. 🎩✨

Circle (CRCL) strutted onto the NYSE stage like a rockstar — its shares surged more than threefold from the humble $31 starting point. This was the culmination of a lengthy quest that involved more red tape than a government office, all for the USDC stablecoin issuer to finally don the IPO hat. 🎩

Our good friend Donald Trump (or rather, the guy who plays him in the finance drama) announced he’d just finished a “very good phone call” with Chinese leader Xi Jinping on Thursday morning. Stocks shot upward like a champagne cork, but Bitcoin (BTC) barely noticed, barely budging, and then, as if on cue, stocks decided to retreat faster than a bad joke at a dinner party.

One clever analyst suggests that three little miracles might just push Ethereum to that dazzling $4,000 mark by the third quarter. Meanwhile, Binance Coin is prancing around, about to break free from the $670 resistance with a sassy bounce, led by market strength that could make even the most jaded trader smile. And Unilabs? Well, it’s charming investors with its AI magic, turning complex DeFi tricks into a child’s game. 💅

Now Vet’s saying we’re to expect these three revolutionary features: native smart transactors (think smarter transactions that could make a goldfish look clever), a consensus model that doesn’t need middlemen (because, frankly, nobody likes a bunch of folks poking their noses where they don’t belong), and cheaper, user-friendly nodes (so even your grandma could run one while knitting sweaters).

Momentum remains stubbornly relentless—like that friend who never leaves the party. Bitcoin ETFs added another feather to their cap with a net inflow of $86.92 million, as markets delight in finding their bullish groove. 🎉

In the last month, SUI has been playing the losing game—dropping approximately 6.72%, with a six-month nosedive of a staggering 24.33%. Weekly, it took an 11.38% tumble, as if sulking in the corner and refusing to join the party. The price chart looks like a rollercoaster operated by a drunk clown—descending when you hoped for ascents, with market sentiment leaning towards panic and avoidance. Resistance at $4.77 and support at $2.29 are like the gas station and the ditch respectively—where traders ponder whether to fill up or flee. The bears, with claws sharpened, seem to be having a field day, as technical indicators whisper gloomy thoughts. Short-term, SUI is stuck in a trad­ing purgatory—waiting for something to spark a rally or for buyers to finally wake up and buy the dip, while sellers take their profits and chuckle mischievously. 😅

The $CRCL opened at a modest $66, only to *immediately* take off like a startled pigeon in the market’s summer heat, touching $102.92. An IPO day rally so dramatic, it could have given even the most seasoned investors whiplash! 🤯 By the time the clock struck 12:50 PM EDT, the trading volume had reached a jaw-dropping 9.86 million shares. Apparently, everyone and their grandmother wanted a piece of this. 🙄

In their debut “Top Women in Web3 & AI” list, they gathered a cadre of women whose names seem to belong to the front lines—people who actually do things, rather than just talk about them at conferences after a glass of cheap wine. A list that, I suppose, captures the spirit—but also the stubborn heartbeat—of the moment, no matter how much of it is smoked by Silicon Valley’s most persistent smoke screens.