Ah, 2025-the year crypto crime went from “niche” to “nation-state spectacle.” According to Chainalysis, state-backed hackers and criminal masterminds joined the party, turning the crypto world into a wild west saloon. 🦹♂️🤠
Mysten Labs has introduced Seal, a decentralized secrets management system built for the Sui Network, aiming to solve the age-old problem of encrypting data and controlling who can decrypt it-because blockchain can’t just be all about transactions, can it? 🤔
The network, once dismissed as a backwater haunted by forgotten dApps, now parades itself as a payments company. A rebrand? How quaint. As if slapping a fresh coat of paint on a rustbucket could erase the scent of desperation clinging to its code. 🎨💀
This redistribution suggested institutions favored spreading risk across multiple assets. However, the key question now is what pushed institutions away from Bitcoin, and whether that trend can persist into 2026, given BTC’s historical four-year cycle dynamics. 🤔⏳
On the 7th day of January, the denizens of World Liberty Financial, in a fit of bureaucratic bravado, unleashed WLTC Holdings LLC upon the Office of the Comptroller of the Currency (OCC), with the audacious aim of founding a national trust bank dedicated to stablecoins. A venture so grand it could make a lesser man weep into his martini.
In the opening days of January, initial jobless claims saw a modest uptick, with 208,000 Americans seeking the benefits of unemployment in the week concluding on January 3rd, a rise from the preceding week’s 200,000. The figures, though slightly elevated, remain beneath the anticipations of the learned economists, thus highlighting the labor market’s surprising fortitude amidst the waning growth momentum. What a splendid display of resilience!
Indeed, the market has once again embraced its penchant for chaos, with FLOKI, PEPE, and SHIB basking in the glow of whalely affection. One might say the crypto world has become a veritable circus of absurdity, where a 950% surge is met with the same enthusiasm as a well-timed punchline. 🥁
This is a big weekly expiry, the kind that can nudge the markets into a little flutter as traders roll their positions and pretend they’re calm while their portfolios perform interpretive dance moves behind the scenes.
The momentum of price, like the fluttering of a maiden’s heart, begins to quicken. The stage is set for a performance that may leave the market gasping, not for breath, but for comprehension. The question, dear reader, is not whether this shall transpire, but how swiftly the curtain shall rise. One might jest, “Is it a rally or a ruse?” 😉
Last time this happened on Upbit in late 2024, the price soared like a rocket with a broken thermostat. Now, the same dance is being waltzed again, and the crowd is whispering, “Could $10 be next?” 🤭
