Morgan Stanley (MS), that paragon of prudence, has taken another step deeper into the crypto, filing a registration statement for an Ethereum Trust, according to a filing with the U.S Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) on Tuesday. One wonders if the SEC’s quizzical gaze has grown accustomed to such antics. 📜
Cryptocurrency analysts, including the ever-eloquent Finance Freeman, have anointed Kaspa as the altcoin to watch in 2026. How charming! Another year, another coin to fuel the mania of the masses. One wonders if they’ve mistaken their crystal balls for magic 8-balls. 🔮
XRP (XRP) ain’t just a crypto-’tis the belle of the ball in early 2026, outshining the top 10 cryptos like a diamond in a coal mine. According to them fancy market data folks, it’s got the moves of a riverboat gambler and the grin of a fox in a henhouse.
He’s saying it’s not something to panic about today, which is always reassuring, isn’t it? Like telling a toddler there’s a monster under the bed, but only in, oh, say, a decade or so. 🤔
Back when blockchains were the shiny new tractor on the farm, everyone touted open ledgers like they were the gospel. But iL Capo’s seen the writing on the wall-transparency ain’t a feature when your neighbor’s got a telescope trained on your piggy bank. “It’s exposure,” he says, “like leaving your savings in a jar on the front porch. Real cozy, until the wolves come sniffing.”
Well, butter my biscuit! The folks over at Coinbase are sounding the alarm again, and this time it’s not about your aunt’s questionable NFT collection. David Duong, the big cheese in Coinbase’s research department, reckons quantum computers are plotting to upend Bitcoin’s apple cart. Not just your wallet, mind you-the whole shebang! Network, mining, the works. It’s like a tornado in a teacup, but with more zeros and ones. 🌪️💻
Let us recount the tale. For weeks, the bulls had paraded near $94,000, their banners flapping like purposeful pigeons, only to be summarily dispatched. The longs, those fragile souls who bet their futures on upward trajectories, watched their accounts dissolve into a smoldering heap of decimal points. Meanwhile, the ETFs-a modernist alchemy of trust and tragedy-shifted from inflows to outflows, shedding $243 million like a scolded child abandoning a trail ofат crackers. The folly! The repetition of cycles older than the internet itself.
Nvidia CEO Jensen Huang said the company’s next-generation Vera Rubin platform is already in “full production,” unveiling fresh details at CES in Las Vegas about hardware that he says can deliver five times the artificial-intelligence computing of Nvidia’s previous systems. Because who needs sleep when you can just upgrade your AI? 😴
This sudden reprieve means that, for the present, firms hefty in digital assets can continue to parade themselves within the grand halls of investment. Even if Bitcoin (BTC), that most unpredictable of assets, accounts for more than half of their holdings-what a spectacle! The likes of Strategy, the largest holder of Bitcoin, breathe a sigh of relief, as their impending exile is temporarily postponed.
According to Charles Edwards, the genius behind Capriole Investments, it’s official: institutions have decided to romance Bitcoin once more. And he even shared a chart on X that looks fancier than my high school yearbook photo! 📈
