Animoca Brands Japan, in a stroke of genius that rivals the invention of the Babel Fish, has teamed up with Rootstock Labs to develop Bitcoin-native treasury tools. These tools are designed for Japanese corporations that want to manage digital assets more actively, presumably because passively holding Bitcoin was starting to feel like watching paint dry-in space.
So, Bitcoin thought it could waltz right past the $94,000 to $98,000 range, but surprise! It got rejected faster than my last Tinder date. This level was supposed to be its “neckline” in a dramatic tech setup, but instead, it turned into a bear party, and guess what? No one brought snacks!
Now, this charming strategy has worked wonders in the robust ETH markets, like a cat that’s just discovered a sunbeam. But alas, with Ethereum’s momentum resembling a deflating balloon and downside risks sprouting like weeds in a neglected garden, BitMine’s exposure is showing signs of stress on the chart. Yes, you heard it right! It seems that treasury risks are now more influential than the actual mining operations, which is like saying the tail is wagging the dog.
These magnanimous words were delivered just as gold, that ancient, mute idol of monetary worship, finally staggered upright after fifty years of financial hibernation and lumbered into the record books like a dazed bear in a luxury jewellery store.
It seems the desire to expand the Bitcoin strategy continues, only now tailored for those investors who require a… regular payment. How quaint.
The announcement arrived on January 26th, presented with the solemnity of a state decree. A “non-custodial” strategy, they proclaim. As if handing you a shovel and saying, “Dig your own hole, but we’ll watch.” They retain the power, naturally. They always do.
Crypto markets are skipping into a phase of bouncing optimism as sentiment brightens across the digital asset carnival. Prices sit ready for a swashbuckling advance, steered by regulatory momentum, institutional clout, and maturing use cases, according to Ripple’s captain of coins, Brad Garlinghouse. The outlook suggests this cycle has room to wiggle before tea-time.
Powell faces a criminal probe as the Federal Open Market Committee convenes. The replacement for Trump’s unsettled fancy looms near; and interest rates, stubborn as a stubborn usher, are forecast to remain at 3.5%-3.75%, a steadiness that would please even a clockmaker. In earlier days, the board trimmed seventy-five basis points across three meetings, a drama of reductions that had the crowd roaring for a sooner encore.
Initially, the odds favored Kevin Hassett, a man whose economic views align with Trump’s like a well-tailored Savile Row suit. But, as is the wont of this administration, the winds have shifted, and now the bookies are laying their money on BlackRock’s Chief Investment Officer, Rick Rieder, a man whose name sounds more like a minor character in a P.G. Wodehouse novel than a potential Fed Chair.
Details, as relayed by the all-knowing oracle of onchain data, Lookonchain, tell us that our “insider” hero closed a staggering 427.29 BTC worth $37.5 million and a mere 30,588 ETH valued at $88.63 million. All this, mind you, on a day when the market thought it would be fun to pull a fast one on everyone. The coup de grace: a withdrawal of 20 million USDC from Hyperliquid to Binance, as if he was just popping out for a quick coffee (which he was, probably to drown his sorrows).
