The recent rebound of Bitcoin ain’t no accident, say the number-crunchers at Cryptoquant. Seems the whales, those great leviathans of the crypto sea, have decided to take a nap. Their deposits into exchanges have plunged from 88,000 on Nov. 21 to a mere 21,000 today. That’s like going from a stampede to a Sunday stroll. 🐳😴
In the latest episode of “Crypto.com is making things complicated,” the platform has decided that retail users-aka, the little guys-will have to deal with a three-second delay when placing sports bets. Meanwhile, market makers, the professional traders with the insider knowledge (and probably a few too many monitors), are free to place bets faster than you can say “What happened to my money?”
Now the big question: Can XRP hit $10? And what’s it gonna take-a miracle? A sacrifice to the crypto gods? 🧙♂️
In the grand tradition of social media bragging, Scaramucci posted a photo of himself and Saylor at the Bitcoin MENA event-because nothing screams credibility like a selfie with a guy who wants to own all Bitcoin in circulation and turn it into some digital magic 10% guaranteed return. Ah, the sweet nectar of crypto dreams, served with a side of sarcasm. 😅
This move comes hot on the heels of the UK’s decision to reverse its crypto ban earlier this year. It’s like the two countries are having a regulatory race to see who can make crypto more accessible first. Spoiler: it’s not a marathon; it’s more of a leisurely stroll. 🏃♀️💨
The scene unfolds as the hijacker, cloaked in the guise of a harmless trader, orchestrated a pump-and-dump scheme that slickly pocketed the scammers approximately $55,000 worth of virtual confetti. CZ, the venerable founder of Binance, was the first to raise the alarm, twittering (or X-ing, as it now calls itself) about the compromised profile, warning the crypto voyagers, “Web 2 social media security is not that strong. Stay safu!”-a reminder that perhaps even heroes fall when digital villains are involved. 🦸♂️🖥️
The ADA price is up 10% in the last 24 hours and is currently trading at $0.47. Founder Charles Hoskinson, that indefatigable optimist, also praised the Cardano Midnight launch, the blockchain’s zero-knowledge privacy network-a project so ambitious it might just convince the world that privacy and regulation can coexist. Or perhaps not. 🤷
My dear sirs and madams, gather ’round as we contemplate the grand spectacle at 2:00 p.m. ET today-an event most anticipated, where the FOMC is expected to graciously reduce interest rates by a trifling 25 basis points, with a probability of 90% that this wish will be granted. The illustrious Fed Chair Jerome Powell shall then give his discourse at 2:30 p.m., where any mention of QE or liquidity support could persuade the markets to dance with joy-or despair. Should he hint at further cuts, risk assets might join in a merry rally; a neutral tone, however, could cause a brief symphony of volatility. Heaven forefend, if inflationary fears take hold, beware the market’s melancholy descent-oh, the drama! 🎭
Apparently, the folks at Strive aren’t just content with playing the crypto game-they want to be the Bitcoin kings of the corporate world. Co-founded by Vivek Ramaswamy (who, rumor has it, is also a part-time magician), Strive has been riding the crypto rollercoaster, after pivoting its strategy this year via some fancy-finance magic called a reverse merger. Now, they hold enough BTC to make some folks jealous, ranking as the 14th largest corporate holder. That’s a lot of digital dough, enough to make you want to wear sunglasses indoors. 😎
The surge triggered a ballet of liquidations, as traders, like hapless dancers, were caught off-balance by Bitcoin’s abrupt pirouette. While sentiment swelled, XRP’s struggle to keep pace with the sector’s fervor was a tale as old as time-perhaps even older than the Kremlin’s secrets. 🕺💸