In a modest triumph, the canonical guardians-OpenAI in communion with the crypto sovereigns at Paradigm-have unveiled EVMbench, a mystery designed to gauge how sagely these AI “agents” can uncover, repair or murder the Achilles heels in the Ethereum Virtual Machine’s sacred contracts.
In a series of X posts (formerly known as tweets, but let’s not split hairs), CryptoBull has been waxing lyrical about XRP’s prospects. He claims the downtrend is as good as done, and the coin is set to sprint into double digits like a well-trained terrier after a fox. He’s even gone so far as to suggest that XRP, not Ethereum, will lead the altcoin season. Bold move, that, rather like betting on a three-legged horse to win the Derby.
With the solemnity of a church sermon, the platform assures its American believers that borrowing against their altcoins will not ruffle the tax‑man’s feathers or sever their positioning in the market. In other words, you may now borrow with the confidence that you won’t be condemned to a tax sentence for high‑falutin strategy adjustments.
In the quiet town of financial innovation, a peculiar turn of events unfolded: Kraken, that paragon of crypto ambition, swallowed the token management firm Magna, a move as thrilling as watching paint dry, yet somehow more financially perilous. One might wonder, what could possibly drive a company to acquire another, unless it’s the age-old pursuit of growth, or perhaps a desperate attempt to appear relevant in a world that’s already moved on.
In a blog post titled “The Next Chapter for Base,” the team declared their intent to seize control of their codebase with the fervor of a man divorcing his first wife. No more outsourcing upgrades to strangers; Base shall now govern itself, a lone wolf in the blockchain savannah.
In a move that could only be described as inspired, Canary Capital has introduced a U.S.-listed spot exchange-traded fund (ETF) dedicated to the SUI, the native token of the illustrious Sui layer-1 blockchain. This splendid creation, dubbed the Canary Staked SUI ETF (ticker: SUIS), burst onto the Nasdaq stage this Wednesday, much to the astonishment of the financial elite.
The Israel-based multi-asset brokerage Etoro reported GAAP net income of $69 million for the quarter ended Dec. 31, 2025, up 16% from $59 million a year earlier. Adjusted net income reached $70 million, while adjusted diluted earnings per share came in at $0.71, ahead of the $0.62 analysts expected, according to FactSet data.
The move marks another step in its aggressive expansion as it prepares for an initial public offering (IPO). Because nothing says “we’re serious” like buying up companies left and right.
Now, let’s take a closer look at Ethereum [ETH]. This crypto behemoth, the most liquid of all chains, dominates the stablecoin scene with over 50% market share, yet it finds itself down about 6% for the year. It seems liquidity is playing hard to get, and Ethereum is left standing awkwardly at the bar, nursing its drink.
Hayes, ever the wordsmith, dubs Bitcoin a “fiat liquidity fire alarm”-a phrase so apt one wonders why it wasn’t coined sooner. This digital sentinel, he claims, is the first to sound the alarm when credit conditions shift, much like a debutante fainting at the sight of a poorly tied cravat.