Crypto news

Our four-legged friend bounded back from the $0.0950 kennel, outpacing even the grand old hounds Bitcoin and Ethereum. It cleared the $0.10 and $0.1050 fences with a triumphant woof.

Higher probabilities suggest more doom ahead, though perhaps-a tiny, flickering hope-there might be a minuscule relief rally before Monday rolls around like a really unimpressed neighbor knocking on your door.

Miss Cathie Wood, it would appear, has long kept a public and steadfast faith in the fortunes of crypto, acquiring assets and shares in enterprises linked to digital tokens when prices were sufficiently low to tempt even a wary spirit. Her house took early positions in exchange operators and fintech houses that provide access to crypto, as a testament, one must suppose, to constancy in the face of volatility more rapid than a Regency wable in a ballroom.

“We are setting clear rules to ensure consumers are protected and innovation can thrive,” declared Sarah Pritchard, FCA’s executive director of markets. She painted the move as a delicate balancing act, maintaining market integrity while coaxing long‑term growth to tip a teacup toward prosperity.

While the uninitiated may tremble at such a spectacle, the seasoned observer recognizes this as but a fleeting melodrama in the grand ballet of crypto markets. Historically, such retracements have served as opulent banquets for the accumulation-hungry, offering DOGE at a discount to those with the wit to seize it.

As we speak (or rather, as you read this), Solana is trading at the charmingly precise figure of $104, which is about as stable as a chicken on roller skates in a disco. This number comes after a rather dramatic plunge, fueled by the crypto market’s tendency to throw tantrums like a toddler denied ice cream. Recent data from Brave New Coin suggests SOL has taken a nosedive of over 11% today, landing it right in the sweet spot of historical influence since 2024-whatever that means.

Across the wild west of derivatives exchanges, bitcoin futures open interest is sitting at 677,730 BTC, or a whopping $52.98 billion. But hold onto your hats-that’s a 6.83% drop in the last 24 hours! Looks like January’s volatility left everyone with a hangover.

So, Strategy’s Big Boss, Michael Saylor, the man who owns more bitcoin than most people own Facebook accounts, is hinting at buying more. Classic move-buy high, sell low, right?

Oh, the irony! In October, this very whale was the toast of the market, a master of timing, who, with a flick of his tail, opened shorts so vast, they shook the crypto world. Moments before Trump’s tariff tempest, he struck, amassing over $1 billion in shorts on Bitcoin and Ethereum.

The big drop on Thursday? Just the Fed playing hard to get on interest rates, and Trump playing ‘Navy, I hardly knew ye’ near Iran. Friday? Markets decided to bounce back like a pinball-until, bam! Gold decided to take a nosedive, like your cousin Vinny trying to jump over the couch.