Crypto news

1⃣ Oh, the drama! Prosecutors are wagging their fingers and demanding a full five-year prison sentence for the mischievous founders of Samourai Wallet. Naughty, naughty! 👮‍♂️

Bustabit, the so-called “original crash game,” has managed to operate for over ten years without a single credible accusation of fraud. 🧐 Impressive, one might think, until you realize it’s like praising a monk for not stealing-it’s literally their job. Still, in an industry where trust is as rare as a honest politician, Bustabit’s 40,000 BTC in payouts and 2.3M BTC wagered are nothing to sneeze at. Transactions are instant, fees are minimal, and manual approvals are as extinct as good manners. Truly, a marvel of mediocrity.

In a rather scholarly post, the esteemed on-chain data platform Glassnode provided its astute analysis. Oh, how profound their words sound: “Since July, Bitcoin has continuously failed to climb back to the cost basis of those fortunate souls who bought high. A sad tale indeed.” The market, it seems, is behaving like a misbehaving child, constantly failing to live up to expectations.

Now, if you’re squinting at them charts like a mole in sunlight, the short-term picture ain’t exactly a picnic. Them strong horizontal supports at $108,000 and $106,000? Turned into resistances faster than a politician changes promises. And the price? Sittin’ below the trendline like a hound dog under a porch. If this freefall don’t stop soon, $98,000 might be the next whistle-stop on this wild ride. And if that happens, the bull market might as well pack its bags and head for the hills. 🐂🚀

Ah, stablecoins! When they first pranced into the financial ballroom like flamboyant dandies in silk waistcoats, they promised us revolution. No more bowing to banks that take four days to move a dime, as if transporting money were akin to hauling a creaky wooden cart across the Ural Mountains in winter! 🐴❄️ No more paying tsarist tolls for wire transfers! Stablecoins would be swift, cheap-nay, freedom itself in digital form! Near-instant settlements! Fees so low they could hide under a coin’s edge!

It all began with a spectacular revelation from CoinDesk, when it unearthed the rather unfortunate business ties between FTX and Alameda Research, a trading firm owned by none other than Sam Bankman-Fried. A true master of dubious connections.

This flurry of acquisitions – and oh, what a flurry it is! – suggests a deliberate, and rather ambitious, effort to construct a vertically integrated ecosystem. Fintech, corporate clients… It’s all quite exhausting, really. Billions spent on brokerage, treasury services… clearly, mere payments are far too pedestrian for their refined tastes. 🙄

This nouveau service permits the crème de la crème of US institutional clients to engage in over-the-counter (OTC) spot transactions across a dazzling array of digital assets-including the much-fêted XRP and the oh-so-stable RLUSD, pegged to the almighty dollar. How très chic! 💼✨

Oh, the drama! The suspense! The sheer audacity of it all! Blockchain, that rebellious enfant terrible of finance, has finally seduced yet another pillar of the establishment. FTSE Russell, that venerable index provider (and darling of the London Stock Exchange Group), has announced-with all the fanfare of a West End premiere-that it will be publishing its benchmark indices onchain. And who’s playing the dashing leading man? Why, Chainlink’s Datalink, of course. 🎭

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