The past two Augusts have resembled a particularly forgettable comedy, with last year’s misadventure resulting in a loss of 13.3%, and the current year, 2023, donning its own cloak of gloom at 5.44% in the crimson. Not a full-scale catastrophe, mind you, but hardly the bull parade that the optimists envisioned.
This isn’t just Lummis flapping her gums; it’s building on what the Federal Housing Finance Agency’s William Pulte has already stirred up. He’s told Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, those lumbering giants of mortgages, to ponder how crypto fits into their risk tea leaves. Pulte’s probably thinking, “Volatility? What volatility? It’s just like stocks, but with more rollercoaster vibes.” 😜
In fact, according to Qureshi, the DOJ *actually* went ahead and did some public backpedaling during a Monday trial. “The DOJ has now backtracked,” Qureshi posted. He added, somewhat dramatically, “They’ve stated on the record that media reports suggesting charges against Dragonfly were… inaccurate.” So, in case you missed it—Dragonfly is totally off the hook. 🙃
These innovative contracts are the answer to a question that has perplexed humanity for ages: How do we trade major crypto assets without the burden of draining our savings into the abyss of speculation? Coinbase, ever the benevolent guardian of our financial whims, delights us with simpler and more cost-effective avenues. After all, who doesn’t dream of dipping their toes in the turbulent waters of cryptocurrency with less capital? 😜
This isn’t your grandma’s textbook pattern—it’s more like a toddler’s finger-paint masterpiece. 🎨 No panic selling, no dramatic liquidation spikes. Just… meandering. Volume is shrinking faster than my hopes for a stable market. 🤯
In the quiet spaces of social media—specifically, a post from Wu Blockchain—there’s talk of a series of token unlocks sweeping over the crypto horizon. The most conspicuous among them being Dogecoin, which is about to add a modest 95.5 million DOGE tokens to its already considerable supply. That’s a mere 0.06% increase, or roughly $22.9 million, if you happen to enjoy counting money as much as watching the tide rise.
They prattle on about a ‘departure’ from the recent cash-only restrictions. A departure! As if they weren’t leading us all on a merry dance to begin with. It’s all a game, you see. A cynical, soul-crushing game played with our hopes and anxieties. And these ‘approved orders’, well, they merely permit this…in-kind business. A small concession, a crumb tossed to the masses.
Под шумок, Трон — будто ларец с сокровищами, собирается поднять $1 миллиард через какое-то там ‘шельфовое предложение’. Ну что сказать, liquidity, как бублик, — всегда в дефиците, а тут вдруг на горизонте блеснул свет даже для тех, кто считал, что TRX — это просто очередной пузырь. Есть желание рискнуть или предпочитаете просто почитать? Тогда парочка слов о краткосрочной драме — читайте, чтоб не попасть в просак. 🕵️♂️
The ETF inflows, those shimmering beacons of institutional hope, have taken a rather dramatic tumble. Glassnode reports it – which, let’s be honest, sounds like the name of a particularly dusty antique shop – and it’s not a pretty sight. It’s the sort of decline that makes you question if anyone actually *likes* Bitcoin, or were just doing it because everyone else was. Don’t answer that.
This isn’t just your average IPO; it’s the biggest US offering of 2025 so far—larger than your wildest summer plans. After paying the usual underwriters, some hefty commissions, and various expenses, Strategy is sitting pretty with about $2.47 billion clean cash in hand. What to do? Well, they bought roughly 21,021 Bitcoin at an average price of $117,256—because apparently, they’re slightly overconfident about Bitcoin’s future. As of late July, they own a staggering 628,791 BTC. Yes, that’s a lot of zeros. 📈
