Whispers in the drawing rooms (and on blockchain explorers) declare that approximately 1.1 million BTC sit immovable within the digital vaults attached to our phantom protagonist. Not a single coin has stirred since the year 2009, no doubt to the great irritation of gold-diggers and Victorian treasure hunters everywhere.
Lo and behold! The cherished Ethereum (ETH) has experienced a woeful decline of 0.6% over the last day, prompting many to clutch their pearls and contemplate the futility of existence.
But wait, there’s more! This bold move comes right on the heels of Sharplink snagging Blackrock’s top crypto guru to lead their Ethereum revolution. Clearly, they’re playing chess while the rest of us are still figuring out checkers. With headquarters in the chilly land of Minneapolis and a Nasdaq listing as SBET, Sharplink is tapping into the trend of businesses treating Ethereum like their new favorite pet rock. And just when you think they’re just about sports betting and online gaming, they’re adding a splash of blockchain sprinkle to their platforms. Because why not, right? 🎉💻
The Consensus 2025 congress at Moscow’s (well, more like Austin’s) Winter Palace was the scene of this grand announcement. The fattened wallets—some 37 million of them—fidgeted in anticipation, dreaming of tokens raining from the heavens as though salvation had come to their blockchain villages. “Here!” proclaimed Hoskinson, beard grand and voice echoing like a sermon, “Let there be NIGHT!” 👑✨
The company, cleaving to the ever-mystical blockchain, known in the bustling marketplace as Nasdaq: BTCS, has unleashed approximately $10 million worth of convertible notes, each priced at the rather extravagant amount of $13 per share. A conversion price that waltzes 198% above the closing stock price from July 18, 2025—truly a masterclass in financial mischief! 🤹♂️ Concurrently, like a child at a candy store, BTCS joyfully added 14,240 Ethereum (ETH) to its whimsical reserves.
As the week unfolded, whispers began to circulate through the Monero community, suggesting that the once revered Qubic, a top mining pool, was orchestrating nothing short of a coup d’état against the very network it served. Alas, these whispers were not unfounded, for the pool’s hashrate, once a beacon of strength, began to wane, plummeting until it found itself relegated to the ignominious position of the seventh-largest XMR mining pool, according to the discerning observations of MiningPoolStats.
In the year of our Lord 2025, this daring corporation did orchestrate a spectacle, securing a hefty $207 million through their daring DeFi/TradFi carousel—like a street magician juggling chainsaws and flaming torches, all to optimize their ETH exposure and shield their dear investors from the icy claws of dilution. 🃏🔥
Mais hélas! La fête fut de courte durée, comme l’après-dîner chez votre oncle un dimanche. La bourse, dans un élan de sagesse soudaine, fit marche arrière, et l’HBAR, tel un pantin désarticulé, céda près de 5% en vingt-quatre heures, puisque les investisseurs se mirent à prendre leurs bénéfices, comme si c’était la caverne d’Alibaba des gains faciles.
But wait, there’s more! It’s not just the BTC token that’s been flexing its muscles. Bitcoin Art has been strutting its stuff on the NFT marketplace like it’s the star of a reality show. According to the latest gossip from Magic Eden, trading volume for ordinals on the BTC market has surged by 103% in the past week, reaching a jaw-dropping 87.8 BTC. And sales? Oh, they’ve climbed a staggering 891%, with a whopping 71,200 units sold. That’s more sales than a used car lot on a Saturday!
Silver should be shining by now, right? With all the hype around solar energy, electric vehicles, and tech, why’s silver still stuck in the mud? We saw it creep up in 2020 when the pandemic turned the world upside down, but it’s been a bumpy ride ever since.
