Crypto news

zkEVM on L1 – the plan

Such a marvelous spectacle hints at a renewed fervor in the ETH derivatives market! One might think our traders have returned from their winter slumber, ready to plunge back into the fray!

Strive, a Nasdaq-listed asset manager, just completed a deal so epic, it’s like watching a superhero movie where the villain is the stock market itself 🎬💥. The transaction, announced on Friday, follows shareholder approval earlier this week-because who needs sleep when you can vote on mergers? 🧠

The U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of Virginia, that most staid of institutions, revealed a federal complaint filed in Alexandria, Virginia. It accuses Mr. Figueira of conspiracy to launder money-a crime as old as commerce itself, yet here rendered in the glitzy vernacular of blockchain and shell companies.

Enter Michael Nadeau, the Cassandra of crypto, who whispers: “This rally smells of yesterday’s perfume-lovely, but doomed.” 🧐

• Stablecoin funding, it seems, is the new black (though less stylish than cashmere). Eligible clients may now deposit USDC, with RLUSD and PYUSD joining the fray like latecomers at a cocktail party. Settlement? Near-instant. Drama? Minimal.
• CEO Milan Galik, a man whose enthusiasm for blockchain could power a small nation, claims these 24/7 rails solve “cross-border pain points.” Translation: No more waiting days for money to arrive while your patience evaporates like a teakettle in a sauna.
• The stablecoin market, now a $310B+ titan, thrives on the U.S. GENIUS Act-a legislative marvel that finally gave digital dollars the legal nod they craved, much like a debutante securing her first dance card.

He has astutely pointed out the waning security budgets, the ominous rise of 51% attacks, and what he categorizes as “impossible choices” for our dear digital currency. Bons warns that these fundamental vulnerabilities could very well erode trust and, heaven forbid, lead to chain splits! What a melodrama!

According to the wizards at Chainalysis (who apparently spend their days deciphering blockchain tea leaves), this surge is a delightful mix of ordinary folks fleeing banks like they’re on fire and state-linked actors playing a high-stakes game of “move the money before anyone notices.” 🕵️‍♂️💼

CME Group, the self-proclaimed titan of derivatives, has declared its next conquest: futures on Cardano, Chainlink, and Stellar. A bold move beyond Bitcoin and Ethereum, as if BTC and ETH weren’t enough to keep the world in chaos. 🌍

On a single day, the drumbeat of transactions rose to 2.8 million, a record that speaks not only of volume but of the thrumming hunger of a crowd seeking something beyond the common purse. This surge, a spectacle of appetite, is reported to be up about 125% from the same period last year. Etherscan confirms that active addresses have more than doubled, from roughly 410,000 to over a million by January 15, signaling more than a fleeting fancy; it signals a habit, perhaps even a belief, that this ledger might bear witness to more than dry arithmetic. The people arrive, and one cannot help but wonder what they seek among the digits-bread, glory, or a new creed for their coins. 😂