Oh, darling, grab your popcorn! Treasury firm Bitmine is having a moment as its BMNR stock takes a nosedive faster than my last Tinder date’s interest in commitment. Blame it on the market, blame it on Mercury in retrograde, but let’s face it-crypto is moodier than Bridget Jones on a bad hair day.
According to them, the crypto world is moving away from those silly memecoins-goodbye Doge!-and turning into a place where people actually use stablecoins for real payments. You know, like grown-ups. Because nothing says “serious investment” like a coin that doesn’t even have a dog on it!
Ah, staking! It has emerged like a phoenix from the ashes of digital asset management, particularly among institutional investors who are as thirsty for yield as a cactus in a drought. With the integration of Chorus One, Bitwise can now gallantly support clients clutching their spot crypto assets and yearning to earn rewards through the illustrious proof-of-stake networks. This acquisition elevates staking from a mere trinket to a dazzling gem in Bitwise’s treasure chest, aligning perfectly with its grand ambition of diversifying into a multi-strategy crypto cornucopia.
The indicators howl with a cold sarcasm we haven’t heard since the FTX night. The Relative Strength Index on the weekly chart refuses to reset, as though the market’s soul remains unsettled, stubbornly refusing to forgive itself. If the 97 floor dissolves, what then? A deeper gloom, or perhaps a ridiculous pantomime in which we chase the color of numbers as if salvation could be bought with a ticker symbol?
In a missive dispatched upon the platform of X, Hougan, with the precision of a Tolstoyan narrator, revealed that the decline commenced long before the masses awoke to its chill. Bitcoin, that proud stallion of the digital plains, now stands 40% below its October 2025 zenith of $126,080, while Ethereum, its noble companion, has fallen by a staggering 53%. The Crypto Fear and Greed Index, that barometer of the soul, has plunged into the depths of “extreme fear,” a state Hougan likens to the heart of winter itself.
According to journalist Eleanor Terrett, Democratic lawmakers will use the meeting to review unresolved issues that previously stalled the bill. Think of it as a game of regulatory Tetris: fit the pieces together before the whole thing collapses into a rug of buzzwords and paper trails.
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In the shadow of the digital abyss, Tether, that titan of stablecoins, has scaled back its ambitions. Once, it dared to envision a $500 billion valuation-a dream as grand as a poet’s sigh. Yet investors, those fickle creatures, recoiled, and so Tether now settles for a mere $5 billion. What a comedown!
In a letter to the committee, Democrats demanded that “any nomination proceedings for Mr. Warsh” be put on ice until the investigations are fully wrapped up. They reckon it’s unfair and politically perilous to swap Powell mid-crisis, like replacing a pair of shoes in the middle of a marathon.
Savvy traders, much like the most discerning of hostesses, employ a variety of tools to analyze markets. The Relative Strength Index (RSI), a creation of mechanical engineer and technical analyst J. Welles Wilder Jr., stands among the most popular, sniffing out trend strength and momentum extremes with the precision of a well-trained hound.