Crypto news

Ah, the world of crypto ETFs-where dreams are born, nurtured, and then swiftly crushed under the bureaucratic heel of the SEC. This year was supposed to be the golden age of digital asset ETFs, with Bitcoin, Ethereum, and even Solana basking in the glory of billions poured into their shiny new products. But alas, in a move as unexpected as a bear market rally, CoinShares has decided to pull the plug on its ambitious plans, including a spot XRP ETF, a Solana staking ETF, and a Litecoin ETF. Poof! Gone, just like that. 🎩✨

Market confidence has been rekindled, but let’s not get too cozy-BTC’s still got more hurdles than a dating app profile. Buckle up, folks. 💨

First, we had Dogecoin [DOGE] setting the stage with its U.S.-listed ETF (DOJE), debuting on September 18th like a star making its long-awaited entrance. The crowd was abuzz, and now, other so-called “cryptos of the people” are trailing in its wake, signaling a shift in the tides. Even the market, that beastly, temperamental creature, seems to have caught a whiff of something-change is in the air.

In an interview that could have been penned by a Victorian ghost story scribe, Hayes conjured visions of a 99% collapse, his voice a low rumble of foreboding. “Ah, another high FDV, low-float VC coin,” he sneered, the phrase dripping with the disdain of a man who’s seen too many ponzi schemes masquerade as innovation. The token’s architecture, he claimed, is a labyrinth of traps for the unwary, a Sirens’ song luring retail investors into the abyss.

Peirce’s musings on privacy were equally stirring. “Let us presume innocence, not guilt!” she implored, as if the entire financial system is a kindergarten teacher judging naptime choices. Yet, as Congress dithers on the Digital Asset Market Structure Clarity Act (because nothing says “clarity” like a 2026 deadline), the crypto faithful face a new heresy: ETFs.

As the broader market wilted like a dahlia in a snowstorm, the Solana token slumped further, a 30-day decline etched into its very blockchain. The inflows, one might say, were a sonnet penned by an AI-meticulous, yet devoid of soul.

In the hallowed halls of the Milk Road Show on November 26, Hayes, with a flourish of his rhetorical cane, proclaimed the recent descent to $80,000 as the cycle’s nadir. “Global dollar liquidity,” he intoned, “has turned a corner, much like a well-dressed gentleman avoiding a puddle.” 🕴️💸

United Network now fully supports Polygon with its secure, non-custodial hardware wallet. This wallet, designed as a convenient card, lets you easily transfer tokens, swap them between different blockchains (including Polygon and others), and securely manage your POL tokens. You can make swaps both between different blockchains and within the Polygon network itself, all while maintaining full control of your assets.

Once a humble prince, Bitcoin now retakes the throne, climbing from the depths of $84,000 to boast a proud $91,138 – a higher low, some say, akin to a clumsy but determined student climbing a mountain with a crooked ladder. With a MACD crossover – a fancy term that sounds like an aristocrat’s dance move – the trend now seems to lean bullish, as if to say: “I have returned, and I shall conquer!” The candles, those flickering flames of market sentiment, now flicker with renewed vigor after weeks of despair, like a fire rekindled after the rain.

Bitcoin might conquer resistance and soar, or crumble like a poorly baked soufflé, retreating to support levels where even the crumbs of hope vanish. 🧁