This update explicitly authorizes futures commission merchants (FCMs) to accept stablecoins issued by national trust banks as margin. Because nothing says “financial inclusivity” like a government agency finally realizing they accidentally excluded a whole class of institutions.
On a Thursday, when the world was busy with its trivialities, Reuters proclaimed that Sberbank, the behemoth of Russian assets, is poised to offer crypto-backed loans to its corporate vassals. The bank, ever the diligent servant of progress, is meticulously crafting the infrastructure and methodology required for this grand expansion, all while bowing to the Central Bank of Russia (CBR) for regulatory blessings.
One might wonder whether this unfortunate decline shall continue its downward spiral or if a recovery, however meager, shall soon be in sight.
The numbers, oh the numbers! They whispered secrets of a grand migration. From the dusty corners of slow, creaky chains to the shiny, bustling cities of high-performance networks, users have cast off their shackles of delay. Legacy chains, once proud and mighty, now find themselves as guardians of treasure, while the speedy ones handle daily chores with the flair of a magician pulling rabbits from hats.
The foundation moved more than 2.7 billion XLM between internal accounts, a feat akin to rearranging the stars in the sky for no particular reason. The change follows an updated mandate framework shared last year, which, if we’re being honest, was probably just a fancy way of saying, “We’re now officially bad at explaining ourselves.”
The firm, proudly the largest corporate Bitcoin holder in the world, added a cautionary aside: restructuring or more capital would only become necessary if Bitcoin collapsed to eight thousand dollars and stayed there for five or six years, which, in the current climate, counted as a serious forecast and a remarkable degree of patience.
These so-called “insights” are less about wisdom and more about survival hacks. They’ll show you how to play the game where the rules are written in vaporware and the winners are those who laugh last, even if they cry first. You’ll learn techniques like Dollar Cost Averaging (because who needs discipline when you can automate your despair?) and automated pattern recognition (because why trust your eyes when a robot can lie better?).
Latest developments: Now, if you’ll pardon me, I reckon I’ll share the latest gossip from the Ondo Summit, where President Ian de Bode, a man of no small ambition, declared 2025 the year his company would make its mark. He spoke with the gravity of a man who’d just discovered gold in his back pocket.
The price is not chained to the market cap, Crypto_Luke insists. Market cap is simply the last traded price multiplied by circulating supply – a snapshot of activity, not the total money needed to conjure a price. The common claim that market cap equals money invested, he says, is not the lasting truth.
As you might guess, this incident caused quite the kerfuffle, with prices doing a cha-cha-cha before settling back down like a well-trained dog after a game of fetch.
