Just when you thought crypto fraud was the new avocado toast of crime, the FBI swoops in like a boss to shut down E-Note, the alleged “dry cleaner” for dirty digital dollars. 🧺💸 Because nothing says “I’m a criminal mastermind” like using a service called E-Note. 🤦♀️
To the dismay of the bulls, crypto markets continued with their whipsawing action again on Thursday, with large early gains being more than reversed over a very short time frame. Because nothing says “I’m a thrill-seeker” like a rollercoaster that’s going nowhere. 🎢
Despite pockets of optimism, akin to a man expecting a rain shower in a desert, the network activity remains as lively as a doorknob at a funeral. 🌧️
They’re channeling all the history vaults, saying the upcoming altcoin ETF could be the hottest thing since sliced bread-if bread were actually volatile crypto assets. 🍞💥
The broader market, too, has been in a most unsteady state, with Bitcoin’s capricious behavior adding to the general air of distress. One can scarcely imagine a more trying circumstance! 😓
In 2019, when the enigmatic Javier Pérez-Tasso ascended to the helm of Swift, a behemoth of the financial world, one might have expected a mere continuation of its venerable tradition. Yet, by the turn of the decade, this titan of transactional alchemy had embarked on a venture as audacious as it was unexpected: the creation of its own blockchain network. 🧙♂️💸
Ah, PayPal (PYPL) is spreading its wings and taking the charming PYUSD stablecoin into the thrilling world of artificial intelligence finance, tying it to the fabulous onchain funding mechanisms dreamt up by USD.AI-a dandy little stablecoin protocol that lends a hand to AI companies needing a bit of a boost.
Behold, the great BlackRock hath transferred 2,257 BTC and 74,973 ETH to Coinbase, a move as subtle as a peacock in a pigeon coop. The whispers of a sell-off echo through the halls of crypto, leaving investors clutching their digital pearls. ETFs, those darling instruments of modern finance, have recorded outflows, a sure sign of redemption for BlackRock’s IBIT and ETHA. Oh, the irony! The very instruments meant to stabilize have become harbingers of volatility. 🎭📉
The Relative Strength Index ( RSI) on the 1-day chart is just sitting there at 41, basically saying, “I don’t know, man,” echoing the sentiments of traders everywhere. Meanwhile, the MACD is being a real downer with a reading of −1,799, hinting at some serious downward momentum. I mean, who invited that guy to the party? 🙄
