Trump Media and Technology Group Corp. (TMTG), the operator of Truth Social and Truth+, disclosed that it intends to issue one digital token per whole share of DJT to eligible shareholders, pending further details expected in the coming months. Because nothing says “trust me” like a vague timeline and a blockchain that’s supposedly fast. 🚀
The Senate Banking Committee, a chamber of whispers and grand gestures, shall convene for this momentous occasion, marking the first step in a dance that has been rehearsed behind closed doors for months. Will they waltz or stumble? Only the shadows know. 🕴️🎭
With 50,000+ users and cross-chain payments smoother than a politician’s promises, CEO Vijit Katta (a man who speaks in spreadsheets and dreams in code) claims Tria is “reshaping digital asset banking.” Or, as the rest of us might call it, “trying to turn blockchain into something people can actually use without crying.”
What does this chaos portend? A bullish ascent or a trap set in the shadows? Let us peer into the abyss of data and maybe find some humor along the way.
According to CoinMarketCap (the oracle of crypto despair), Midnight’s Relative Strength Index (RSI) hit a whopping 67. That’s right, folks-overbought like a Black Friday shopping spree! 🛍️ Traders saw that 18% weekly gain and thought, “Time to cash out before this turns into a pumpkin!” 🎃 And boy, did they-price got rejected harder than a bad pickup line at $0.09.
2025. A year that will be remembered, if only by those unfortunate enough to have invested in this… phenomenon. Prices soared, governments momentarily forgot their disdain for anything they couldn’t control, and fortunes were made and, of course, lost. Oh, so many lost. 😇
Top traded token: $XRP
“XRP, the valiant hero, stood as the champion trader on our beloved Uphold platform this illustrious year of 2025, supported by a legion of fans more dedicated than any gathered sightseeing near the Statue of Liberty. Hats off, dear XRP community, for ye are the heart of blockchain’s roundest table!”
– Uphold (@UpholdInc) December 30, 2025
What’s the hullabaloo, you ask?
Understandably, the year 2025 may be recounted as yet another season fraught with “volatility.” The greater narrative of this financial market wove a tale reminiscent of that ubiquitous waltz, where the stepping stones of triumph dissolve into the grasping mists of regret. For instance, dear Bitcoin’s fortunes soared to a remarkable zenith of nearly $126,000 come October’s end, having initiated the year with a more modest average of $93,500. However, as December wore on, it did trade forunder a value below its January commencement by a most conspicuous sum, thus dampening spirits as perhaps an unplanned tea party in a deluge would.
Ah, the Russian government finally figured out that crypto is a thing. Now they want to make it legal… but only if you fill out their 100-page form and pay a fee in rubles. Or else, you’re looking at 5 years in prison. Because nothing says “I love you” like a prison sentence. 😂
