Crypto news

Just last week, our beleaguered hero plunged from a rakish $96,000 to the sullen depths beneath $88,000-its most abject performance since the Great Meme Crash of ’25 (or was it ’23? History blinks). Yet, in the catacombs beneath the chart, where data squirms like blind fish, whispers stir. The bears, those grizzled pessimists in trench coats and frowns, appear spent-exhausted by their own success. Could it be? Are they developing existential fatigue from all that growling?

Yes, you read that right. Over 5,700 Bitcoin enthusiasts (or, as I like to call them, “HODLers with hope”) admitted that their crypto wallets are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine when it comes to real-world transactions. And why? Well, it’s not like they’re short on excuses.

At the helm of this quixotic endeavor stands the redoubtable Thomas Coratger, a cryptographic engineer of no mean repute, ably seconded by Emile, whose contributions to the leanVM project have earned him a place in the pantheon of the mildly celebrated. Together, they lead a charge not of mere academic navel-gazing, but of practical, if somewhat frantic, execution. Live testnets, developer séances, and tooling so scalable it might as well be a mirage-such are the weapons in their arsenal against the quantum menace.

Why, an analyst-known to social media as SMQKE-has shared a juicy anecdote about how Ripple’s AI has turbocharged cross-border payments. They’ve managed, quite cheekily, to combine blockchain’s old charm with artificial intelligence’s silver-tongued sass to make global transactions as swift and as cheap as a Champagne breakfast. Leveraging XRP Ledger, Ripple’s real-time settlement marvel, the system now whimsically optimizes transaction routes faster than a waiter at a busy soirée. No more waiting in line-just seamless, AI-powered financial ballet, darling.

Meanwhile, the price of ETH, that volatile digital substance beloved by gamblers, speculators, and people who just like shiny things, has been doing the rollercoaster dance. It’s tumbled more often than a toddler after too much sugar, dipping below key support levels with all the grace of a drunken giraffe-prompting traders to nervously clutch their digital pearls and hope for a miracle.

This mirrors the silence that shrouds Shiba Inu lead ambassador Shytoshi Kusama, whose last flick of activity on X was between Dec. 7 and 8.

Based on the attached chart, this retreat in leverage funds’ short exposure seems to have shadowed a local price bottom; a whisper in the marketplace’s ear that may be construed as bullish for BTC, or merely a coquettish nod from a capricious market to its own vanity.

All told, theseigoing struggles settle the questions about relief rallies and settle into the bear’s new constitution. Yet the latest on-chain reckonin’ suggests the Bitcoin blues could deepen before they cheer up.

Here’s the deets: After a thrilling plot twist, users of the Gemini Earn program have been given back 100% of their crypto-yes, every last byte. This is the kind of happy ending that makes you question what kind of fairy godmother is funding this. To ensure this sweet finale, Gemini threw a cool $50 million in cryptocurrency into the kitty along with plenty of donations from their crypto friends, resulting in full repayment. If this doesn’t sound like the plot of a cheesy rom-com where everyone gets their dues at the end, I don’t know what does!

One must admit, it’s quite the leap for a venture that fancies itself at the glamorous crossroads of blockchain, satellite infrastructure, and telecom networks-what a trifecta!