Crypto news

So, this fella, who goes by the name of Protechtor (sounds like a superhero, doesn’t it?), has come forth with a shiny new update regarding the price action-yes, indeed! He’s pinpointed the golden range for taking profits should the market decide to go on an upward jaunt. In a post on X (whatever that is, sounds like a spy organization), he went on about how our dear altcoin just pulled off a little liquidity grab over at Coinbase, filling that wick like a pot-bellied cook at Thanksgiving. 🦃

To make things even juicier, they’re offering a whopping $5 million for tips that help shut down these fraudsters. That’s right, folks! If you’ve got the goods on any shady characters, you might just be rolling in crypto cash! 💵

The market, that fickle mistress, adds her weight to the drama, ensuring HBAR remains shackled, despite fleeting moments of stability near its key support zones. Alas, even these are but fleeting illusions of hope.

Arthur Hayes is suddenly everyone’s favorite crypto detective, sniffing out the trail of his own treasure. 🕵️♂️💸

Our intrepid victim, bless them, thought they were being smart by testing the waters with a modest $50 transfer to their address. What they got instead was a scammer’s best trick: spoofing their wallet using identical first and last four characters. Think of it as a jealous twin situation, except the twin is totally bad news!

Recent on-chain revelations unveil that almost half of Bitcoin’s realized cap now swims in the hands of these new whale buyers. This marks a dramatic departure from the familiar currents of past Bitcoin cycles, where the old guard ruled the seas with their frugal accumulation during the golden days of low prices. 🐋💰

This bold proclamation comes hot on the heels of Coinbase’s latest adventure: teaming up with the Brooklyn District Attorney’s Office to take down a gang of crypto ne’er-do-wells. Yes, you heard that right. The DA’s office and Coinbase, like a modern-day Batman and Robin (but with more spreadsheets), have been working together to unravel a scam so devious, it would make Moriarty scratch his head. 🦇🤝👮♂️

This jump, mightier than a kangaroo on a moonshine kick, has got folks asking themselves with their brows all fogged up if there’s some secret sauce propelling CHZ to the high heavens.

Over on the social media realm, known to mortals as X, the Terraform Labs’ Plan Administrator waved its digital wand and declared, “We seek $4 billion, sir!” Jump Trading, it seems, was accused of concocting spells of “illicit market manipulation, self-dealing, and misuse of assets.” All this, according to the administrator, was the secret recipe for a feast at the expense of unwitting investors 😏.

You see, a whimsical memecoin tied to the president popped into the spotlight just as he was gearing up for a grand re-entrance into the White House. Once upon a time, getting sensible crypto rules was like gathering everyone in the neighborhood for a peaceful bake sale. But now, it’s more like trying to herd cats wearing tutus!