Crypto news

Indeed, the illustrious US Senate Agriculture Committee has confirmed it will hold a grand markup hearing at 10:30 a.m. ET. The purpose of this gathering is to scrutinize, debate, and perhaps even amend the latest draft of a certain digital asset market structure bill-fondly called the Digital Commodities Intermediary Act. How thrilling to think that this committee, which primarily oversees commodities markets and the enigmatic Commodity Futures Trading Commission, now finds itself at the very heart of the ongoing and ever-enthralling debate over crypto oversight and authority-that eternal tug-of-war between who is in charge and who merely pretends to be.

This little shopping trip brings their average cost per Bitcoin down to a cozy $76,037. All this while Bitcoin is doing the wobbly dance in January, slipping from high-flying prices above $95,000 to the nostalgic low $80,000s. It’s like watching a soap opera with more ups and downs than a rollercoaster!

Santiment, the digital oracle of asset analytics, proclaims that these three stalwarts are adorned with negative percentages for their 30-day Market Value to Realized Value (MVRV) ratios. Who knew numbers could wear such dreary attire?

On the 1-day chart, the structure is more bearish than a critic at a Mel Brooks movie. That drop on January 20th? Fuhgeddaboutit! Below $0.066? That’s not a dip, that’s a plot twist!

He insists, with a serious demeanor befitting the gravest of sermons, that this current cycle is not a miracle but a necessary purge. Like a wise peasant plowing under the weeds to let the real crops flourish, the crypto market must rid itself of the thousands of tokens that have no true demand or lasting purpose. These are mere chaff, driven only by the wind of speculation, not by the sturdy roots of utility or revenue. Truly, it is a lesson as old as mankind: what is weak shall be exposed in times of hardship.

The pullback coincides with global tensions, sending investors scrambling to the safety of risk-off positions. But don’t worry, analysts are still optimistic about XRP in 2026-because who needs a crystal ball when you have a spreadsheet?

According to ExpressVPN-an outfit that presumably makes a fine living from such anxieties-one Jeremiah Fowler discovered a database, a veritable mountain of data some 96 gigabytes in size, containing 149,404,754 unique login details. A number so large, one almost loses count… almost.

According to that reliable paper, the Nikkei Asia-and you know how those fellas love a good story-the government’s Financial Services Agency is ponderin’ addin’ these cryptocurrencies to the list of things folks are allowed to trade with. Imagine! Holdin’ Bitcoin (whatever that might be) directly in a fund, traded right on the Tokyo Stock Exchange. Why, it’s practically reckless!

According to the US Department of Justice (who clearly had a field day with this one), Panzera was part of a drug trafficking organization that made Black Friday shoppers look amateur. Hundreds of kilograms of fentanyl analogues, MDMA, methylone, and ketamine? Check. Counterfeit pills that were basically fentanyl roulette? Double check. Over a metric ton of drugs imported? Triple check. And let’s not forget the hundreds of thousands of dollars sent to China via Bitcoin and wire transfers. Because who needs Venmo when you’re funding a global drug empire?

Now, this analysis was all the buzz on social media-because where else would you discuss cryptocurrency if not on X? They even shared a multi-year chart that looks more complicated than a crossword puzzle. Apparently, XRP has been playing in four phases for over a decade. It’s like watching your favorite soap opera: full of drama and a lot of ups and downs, but somehow still captivating.