Crypto news

WLD’s Personal Bermuda Triangle

Recently, Bitcoin leapt out of a short-term declining channel with all the grace of a caffeinated squirrel. Sure, it’s a positive sign, but let’s not kid ourselves-if the major moving averages are still sloping downward, the trend is still sulking in the corner. In plain terms: Bitcoin is doing the financial equivalent of tiptoeing uphill in socks.

Charles Schwab has officially announced it will begin offering Bitcoin and Ethereum trading soon. The company confirmed the service, called Schwab Crypto, is on schedule to launch in the first half of 2026, starting in the second quarter. This new service will be run through Charles Schwab Premier Bank, a fully regulated bank, and a waitlist for early access is now available.

Leading analyst Maartunn is drawing attention to a significant move by Metaplanet: they’ve bought another 5,075 Bitcoin. This brings their total holdings to a level that makes them one of the biggest publicly traded companies in the world to own Bitcoin. This wasn’t a single purchase, but part of a planned strategy to steadily increase their Bitcoin holdings over several months.

Their dominance is a testament to how institutional capital has seamlessly infiltrated crypto, turning it into just another asset class for the 1%. Regulated ETFs? More like “Rich People’s Playthings.”

So, here’s the deal: Chinese AI firms are taking public data and turning it into battlefield intel, and the U.S. military is basically the star of this unintended reality show. The Washington Post dropped this bombshell, revealing that these private Chinese tech companies-some with official PLA supplier certifications-have been selling detailed analyses of U.S. force movements since the Iran war kicked off five weeks ago. No leaks, no espionage, just good old-fashioned publicly available data and a dash of AI magic.

Canton Network, the brainchild of Digital Asset and its TradFi buddies, is back in the spotlight-again! This time, The Chopping Block is slicing and dicing the debate: Is Canton a real blockchain or just TradFi cosplaying as crypto? With tokenized repo and bond flows hitting hundreds of billions daily (yes, you read that right), and a token trading at $0.14 with a $5.3 billion market cap, Canton’s no joke-unless you’re into financial humor, which, let’s face it, is an acquired taste.

The IMF, in its infinite sagacity, has issued a report warning that shifting Wall Street’s venerable trading mechanisms onto blockchain systems may hasten financial crises beyond the poor regulators’ ability to respond. Imagine, if you will, a ball where the music quickens so abruptly that even the most skilled dancers stumble. Yet, the promise of reduced costs and swifter settlements has the financial elite quite besotted.

Senator Bill Hagerty of Tennessee announced a timeline for the CLARITY Act, a bill aimed at regulating digital assets, during a speech at Vanderbilt University on Monday. He stated the bill is expected to be reviewed by the Senate Banking Committee starting April 14th and anticipates it will pass the committee by the end of April. This marks a key step forward for the legislation, which has been progressing slowly through Congress.

ETHGlobal, ever the showman, unveiled its finalists with a tweet that could only be described as theatrically understated: “Drumroll please…” One can almost hear the rustle of tuxedos and the clinking of champagne flutes as they announced, “Our ETHGlobal Cannes finalists are here! Behold the top 10 projects of the weekend: ENShell, DIVE, maki, Défi, ALMA, npmguard, VEIL VPN, PaintGlobal, EVM PORST, Corpus.” A digital red carpet, if you will, leading to their showcase portal.