Crypto news

And guess what? CoinShares got this license through their French sidekick, CoinShares Asset Management, just casually announced on Wednesday, like it’s no big deal. 🎉

But hey, who’s listening to the doomscrollers when BlackRock and Franklin Templeton are already sipping the tokenization Kool-Aid? 🥤 Even Coinbase and Kraken are like, “Yeah, we’ve been here, done that, bought the NFT.” The market’s already hit $25 billion, according to RWA.xyz, which is basically the Gossip Girl of tokenized assets. 💸

Two ominous signs are now pointing south: a mountain of leveraged longs sitting under the price like a sleeping dragon, and momentum slipping faster than a banana peel on a rainy day. 🍌 Key support levels? They’re sweating. 😓

As it seems the once-plentiful harvest of high-quality data for molding those delightful AI models has been quite depleted—perhaps consumed by that ravenous beast called “obsolescence”—Poseidon has gallantly set its sights on the not-so-simple task of amassing and refining the eclectic, multi-sensory data imperative for the next grand parade of AI applications, including those charming robots and autonomous vehicles that might just take over our Sunday drives. 🚗💨 The platform is designed to facilitate data suppliers in their quest for necessary nuggets of wisdom while promising to protect their precious intellectual property through a programmable IP license. So generous! Poseidon’s cadre of intellectuals, under the guidance of Chief Scientist Sandeep Chinchali, is armed with an impressive arsenal of expertise in the realm of AI infrastructure. And let us not forget our esteemed friends at A16z, all aflutter to assist the company in navigating the labyrinthine bottlenecks that currently beset AI development. Where’s a well-dressed investor to go? 🧐

In a riveting podcast, our crypto oracle VirtualBacon claims this isn’t mere froth and foam; nay, dear reader, it is the dawn of an exhilarating new cycle where Ethereum struts forth as the noble leader. With the magic of real-world asset tokenization and a salubrious stablecoin infrastructure, we find ourselves at the threshold of an altcoin jamboree that promises to dazzle! Once Ethereum breaks its previous record, it seems we shall witness a sight so glorious, these coins shall shine like stars in a twilight sky. 🌟

Let’s break it down, shall we?

providence smiles upon crypto

Our visionary also observes a most encouraging shift in regulations. With bipartisan applause echoing for crypto, retirement funds whimsically embracing digital assets, and institutional goliaths increasing their involvement, he intrepidly suggests the market teeters on the brink of a new chapter. 📖

And if Trump, that delightful enigma, should stage a comeback, he could fast-track this trend with tax incentives and a gilded blueprint for clearer regulations. At the heart of Hayes’ ruminations lies the delightful juxtaposition of a finite cryptocurrency supply against the rapid proliferation of fiat currency. What a plot twist! 🎬

This charade, born of a squabble with a non-profit—a tempest in a teapot, really—had nothing to do with Powell’s crypto empire. 🤑 Yet, how the winds of fate howl! Powell, ever the dramatist, declared, “Very glad to have this behind me. It never made sense… Wild how quickly you can have your life upended. I’m grateful for those who saw through it and for my stellar legal team. Now, turning my attention back to Kraken.” Oh, the theatrics! The returned devices, no doubt, sing his innocence like a choir of angels. 🎻

The world, it seems, is swept by a stablecoin frenzy, and financial behemoths are not immune. From Hong Kong to the United States, institutions dream of issuing their own stablecoins, pegged to local currencies, as if this will somehow redeem their antiquated systems. 🌍

The Seattle US Attorney’s Office, who clearly needs a hobby, announced on Tuesday that they’ve filed a fancy civil action to grab a chunk of the $97 million collected by the alleged scam that ran longer than some relationships—between June 2022 and July 2024. Yikes. 🍟