Crypto news

In the midst of this digital circus, Alexander Zahnd, the esteemed interim CEO of Zilliqa, pops his head above the fray, proclaiming with a flourish that $130,000 beckons if our momentum holds—his optimism seemingly as buoyant as a pastry chef’s soufflé. “This isn’t just another whimsical dabble in speculative absurdity,” he insists, “oh no! This is a spot-driven rally amidst a stable market—an echo of a maturing crypto landscape—a veritable ballet powered by the fervor of institutional confidence.” Cue the applause! 🎭

July 4, 2025: Behold, for Banco Bilbao Vizcaya Argentaria (BBVA), that titan of Spanish banking, has flung open its doors to retail customers, offering them Bitcoin and Ether trading alongside custody services—all via mobile apps! 📱✨ This grand gesture aligns neatly with the EU’s Market in Crypto Assets (MiCA) framework, ensuring investor protection. How noble! Or perhaps… how calculated? 🤔

Seemed the ground might split open under all this weight – them tokens hanging like heavy fruit on tired limbs. Funny thing about NFTs though: they build their barns slow and stubborn. History’s taught us when the images start costing more than sense should allow, the money stampede ain’t far behind. And damned if we ain’t seeing hoofprints already.

It seems our friends at JPMorgan are entertaining a revolutionary concept—a radical departure from the confines of yesterday’s prudence. Instead of confining themselves to the sterile embrace of crypto-related financial instruments like exchange-traded funds (ETFs), they aspire to directly usher forth crypto as collateral. Imagine, if you will, trading in your digital gold for real, tangible cash! As if banking was ever devoid of irony. 😏

But observe! This lull follows a period of ascendance most vigorous, fueled by the eager pursuits of both grand institutions and those of lesser purse. ‘Tis possible, methinks, that this pause serves merely as a moment of re-adjustment, a weighing of accounts, before these players resume their frenetic gamblings.

Source – X coingecko

The aforementioned Machine is being propped up, as it were, by the esteemed Kraken and Blockchain.com. These titans of the digital realm are prepared, the reports say, to contribute a mere $800 million in equity. “Mere,” I say! Such paltry sums for such ambitious endeavors. One wonders if they’ve consulted the astrologers. 🔮

Ah, the capital shall be deployed in a most charmingly incremental fashion, as one might sprinkle truffle oil on a plate of spaghetti. The intentions are nothing short of ambitious: acquire and stake SOL, operate validators (because who doesn’t love a good validator?), and support those tokenized finance initiatives that promise to rescue us from our daily drudgery. Furthermore, MFH plans to dabble in real-world assets and decentralized services across the grand expanse of the Solana network. How quaint! 🍷

And let’s not forget the GENIUS Act—because nothing says ‘trust me, I’ve got this’ like officially recognizing stablecoins as legal tender in the good ol’ U.S. of A. Now, ETH’s basically on steroids, ready to dominate the stablecoin scene with a big ol’ smile. 🚀

Now don’t go fainting just yet, for this lost trove is worth roughly $3.43 billion—because who wouldn’t want to lose a bit of pocket change equal to the GDP of a small country? That’s a delightful 0.76% of the circulating supply, which is probably sitting on a beach somewhere, sipping a piña colada while we ponder how to retrieve it. 🍹