Crypto news

This story, wrapped in intrigue and the smell of burnt rice, emerges from a treasure trove of reports-an extract from the great Beijing Municipal Police’s tome of illicit deeds. Apparently, the gang’s operation was so sophisticated that it was considered a “representative” crime-like a sample of bad pudding sent around to warn others. They traded in the mysterious USDT-like a digital version of a secret handshake-dressed up as everyday crypto trading, all while sneaking past the censors and the officials’ watchful eyes. 🕵️‍♂️🔍

But wait, there’s a hero in this tale! Pi Network’s PI said, “Hold my zero-fee transaction,” and soared by 15%. 🚀 Yes, you heard that right-while the big boys were crying into their blockchain, PI was doing the cha-cha in green territory. 💃

Remember two weeks ago when everyone was queuing up like it’s Black Friday at a bullion store? Gold hit $4,330, and the market cap went full Beyoncé-surpassing $30 trillion. 🤑💃

In a turn of events most unexpected (or perhaps entirely predictable, given the whims of finance), Crypto.com and NYSE-listed Pineapple Financial Inc. have forged a strategic partnership, wherein Crypto.com shall act as custodian and staking enabler for Pineapple’s £100 million digital asset treasury-denominated, of course, in Injective (INJ). A most curious choice, indeed. 🧐

WLFI is consolidating around the $0.15 mark, showing signs of strong accumulation after weeks of correction. The token has found solid support between $0.14 and $0.15 – a key demand zone that continues to attract buyers. With sellers losing momentum and buyers reloading positions, the market structure remains bullish as long as WLFI holds above $0.15. A sustained move beyond the $0.19 resistance level, identified as the point of control, could trigger a breakout and signal the next leg higher for the token. 🚀

Once, a humble field on the Bitcoin network stored mere trifles of data. Now, it is a battlefield where factions clash over spam, threatening to tear the very fabric of the blockchain asunder. A chain split looms, and the drama rivals any Russian novel. Yet, as Bitmex sagely points out, this is but another chapter in Bitcoin’s epic saga of spam warfare. 🛡️

They don’t just want their ETH sitting around doing nothing. No, no, no. That’s a waste of good cryptocurrency! They want it working! Like a little crypto elf staking and restaking and…just putting in work! They want “yield-generating capital.” Sounds painful, doesn’t it? Like forcing your accountant to do the Macarena.💃

As panic ensued and lesser mortals scrambled for exit doors, a miracle unfolded: FLM, the flaming-well, bird-rose from the ashes not with quiet dignity, but with a 19.7% shriek of joy, flapping its wings in the face of financial gravity. Meanwhile, KDA stumbled like a poet in winter, and PERP merely blinked, as if unsure what just happened. 🎭

The company, with the grandeur of a duchess in attendance, still boasts around 2,264 BTC, enough to make it the envy of any currency lover, with a collective value of approximately $255 million. Queries regarding whether this represents a teetering on the brink of a sale or a mere whimsical reorganization of custody loom large-much like an unsolved mystery in a delightful drawing-room comedy!

Oh, and the fun never ends because futures open interest plummeted like a fad diet gone wrong, from a whopping $5.03 billion to a wimpy $1.95 billion. We’re talking serious position liquidation panic mode and unbelievable trader fatigue (I mean, who can blame them, right?).