TON ESCAPES CRASH! Security? Just a Bonus 🚀

On the fateful day of July 21st, TonBit, with eyes sharp as a hawk’s, uncovered a critical flaw that threatened to plunge the entire network into chaos. A null-pointer dereference, no less! Imagine a ghostly specter capable of injecting false messages to crash the very heart of the blockchain. 🧟‍♂️

Solana: Is $190 the Point of No Return? 😱

The cost basis distribution, presented in a heatmap (how terribly modern!), reveals that over eight million SOL were accumulated between $189 and $191. One imagines a flurry of hopeful clicks and frantic key presses. A most heavily contested zone, indeed! It represents the last gasp of optimism before the inevitable… well, you know. 📉

When Discworld Meets Crypto: Trump Media’s Bitcoin Stash Soars 🚀

This move is part of their ongoing Bitcoin treasury strategy and now makes up roughly two-thirds of their $3 billion in liquid assets. In addition to this, Trump Media has also put aside around $300 million to buy bitcoin options. The company plans to keep buying more bitcoin and related assets, and may convert these options into actual bitcoin depending on market conditions. These assets will help generate revenue and could be used to buy even more crypto in the future. It’s like a 🐍 eating its own tail, but with more 💰!

Mike Novogratz Slams Bitcoin Haters with WNBA Shenanigans 🏀💸

Novogratz, a man whose love for Bitcoin is as fiery as the Ankh-Morpork City Watch’s annual bonfire, recently pondered a mystery: Why do some WNBA players dislike Caitlin Clark? “I can’t understand why the WNBA players hate @CaitlinClark22 or why anyone hate $BTC!!” he tweeted. “The corn and the Iowa girl are pretty damn great in my mind!!!”

Bitcoin’s Epic 15-Year High: Hold On Tight or Bail? 😂

According to Ark Invest, this 74% mark means Bitcoin’s supply is mostly in the grips of holders who’ve stuck around for at least 155 days. It’s like they’re auditioning for a role in “The Never-Sell Story.” They call it a sign of market conviction, positioning BTC as digital gold – or as I like to think, a shiny distraction from actual gold. 😏 Institutional buyers are flexing their muscles, outlasting those flaky retail investors. With demand from ETFs and treasury wonks, this metric might just keep climbing, giving long-term holders even more control. Because why share the wealth when you can hoard it all? 💰

The Great Crypto Heist: CoinDCX’s Comedic Quest for Recovery After $44M Vanishing Act

This was no ordinary misfortune; the very reserves intended for liquidity—those precious coins meant to keep the engine of commerce running—were appropriated by what can only be described as a digital Houdini. But while the sanctity of user funds remained intact, the company’s own internal accounts became a playground for thieves, as if they were inviting the audience to watch a heist unfold on stage.

ETH to $4K? 🚀 Don’t Get REKT!

Everyone’s terribly enthusiastic, naturally. But even I, a professional observer of chaos, can sense a slight wobble. It’s gone up a lot, okay? A lot. Like, suspiciously a lot. Needs a breather. Probably needs a spa day.

Crypto Madness! Will Bitcoin, Ethereum, and XRP Go to the Moon This Week? 🚀

What’s got the market buzzing like a beehive, you ask? A fantastic twist in regulations that has charged up the altcoin market like kids at a candy store! Our noble Bitcoin’s dominance has dipped like a hero taking a plunge, sliding from 63.76% down to 60%. How terribly predictable, eh? Plus, the altcoin cap has decided to reclaim an 8-year trendline, like a memory coming back from the depths. Are you scratching your heads wondering where those fancy blue-chip coins are headed next? Well, hold onto your hats while we dive into the giddy world of Bitcoin, Ethereum, and XRP’s price predictions!

🚀 Solana’s Wild Ride: Will SOL Eclipse Ethereum’s Glory? 🌕

A whispered divergence doth stir between these titans of the blockchain. ETH, the stalwart, hath dominated the higher timeframes, boasting near 2x gains on weekly and monthly candles. Yet, SOL, the mischievous upstart, hath executed a sharp 5.25% daily pirouette, shattering the $185 supply wall with the grace of a cat burglar. 🕺💰

🚀 Shiba Inu’s Wild Ride: Meme Coin Madness or Market Genius? 🤑

In the cruel, unforgiving year that was, Shiba Inu’s volatility danced like a capitalist’s greed, never allowing the coin to rest above the $0.000015 mark. Ah, but in 2025, it briefly touched $0.00001701, a fleeting moment of triumph before the inevitable plunge. Such is the life of the meme coin—a tragic hero in the grand drama of finance. 🎭