Crypto news

In the vast, $3.76 trillion cryptocurrency universe (yes, it’s bigger than your imagination), Bitcoin and Ethereum are the dynamic duo, hogging over 70% of the spotlight. But hold onto your hats, because the ETF landscape is doing the cha-cha! 💃 Bitcoin ETFs, once the belle of the ball with $30 billion in inflows, have stumbled to a mere $8 billion in Q3 2025. Ouch. Meanwhile, Ethereum ETFs are sashaying in with $9 billion, proving that ETH isn’t just a pretty face-it’s got the moves. 🕺

Per Coinglass, ETH futures open interest is $46.27B-basically, a giant “I O U” note between traders betting the farm 🏦.

This curious exchange came hot on the heels of a contentious spat, where Litecoin’s blithe remarks toward XRP had sent ripples of outrage across the crypto landscape. The XRP faithful, like lions defending their territory, roared with indignation at the jabs fired from Litecoin’s camp. Roasts, they called them! But were they really just savories, or spoiling eggs? 🍳🦁

Selig, once a scribe of cryptographic edicts at the SEC’s Crypto Task Force, now ascends to his throne, armed with quills dipped in both derivatives law and the arcane lore of blockchain. A disciple of the legendary “Crypto Dad” (Christopher Giancarlo, lest we forget his paternal patronage of decentralized ledgers), Selig’s résumé reads like a Tolstoyan epic of regulatory chess-a game where bishops and knights wear hoodies and speak in hashtags. 🎩♟️

Last week, the Financial Times revealed a staggering 65,000 “nudge letters” had been dispatched in the 2024-25 tax year-a mere doubling of their correspondence, but a bureaucratic symphony of menace none the less. These letters, sweet as honeyed lies, urge compliance with the gentlest of threats: “Review your filings, dear citizen, lest we review your bank accounts.”

Behold, the latest scribblings from JPMorgan’s soothsayers! They decree that Coinbase, that great digital bazaar, shall be enriched beyond measure by this mythical Base token. A fresh river of gold, they say, to flow alongside the existing streams-USDC yields, on-chain trading, and the usual capitalist delights.

Turns out, Kyrgyzstan’s master plan involves launching a national stablecoin on BNB Chain and rolling out a CBDC faster than you can say “blockchain bureaucracy.” CZ, serving as an advisor to the country’s National Crypto Council, also suggested adding Bitcoin and BNB to the reserve. Because nothing says “fiscal responsibility” like putting crypto in charge of a nation’s economy! 💸

Meanwhile, Shiba Inu is so bullish it extended its rebound on Friday, buoyed by a shiny gift: September inflation turned out to be milder than expected – a groovy 3.0% according to the Consumer Price Index, which is basically the government’s way of saying, “We’re not screwing things up too badly this month, folks.” The coin poetically danced up to $0.00001034, only to then strut back a tad, but still-four zeros post the decimal point. (It’s a long way from the days when people thought it would be the currency of the future.)

For some time now, I’ve observed these jurisdictional rules affecting digital platforms, and it is, frankly, a sight to behold. It’s remarkable, isn’t it? How much geography still dictates access. It was once sufficient to simply have the internet; now, one must also consider where one is while having it-and what laws deign to apply in that particular locale. A pox on bureaucracy, I say! 😤

Apparently, this “Token Ferrari 499P” is exclusively for the Hyperclub, a group of 100 mega-rich racing enthusiasts who probably own more Ferraris than pairs of shoes. (But let’s be honest, who doesn’t want a car that’s basically a trophy with wheels?) 🥂💼 Partnering with fintech firm Conio, Ferrari’s chief marketing guru, Enrico Galliera, claims it’s all about “strengthening the sense of belonging.” Because nothing says “we’re family” like a digital token, right? 🤔❤️