Crypto news

Open interest, the number of open positions (both long and short), has had a bit of a workout lately, spiking like a teenager’s enthusiasm for TikTok. This indicates more liquidity, volatility, and, let’s be honest, drama in the derivative market. But here’s the kicker: ETH’s open interest is lounging around $20 to $21 billion, well below its previous peak of $30 billion. So, while it’s not exactly a snooze fest, it’s also not a forced-liquidation apocalypse waiting to happen near $3,000. Phew! 😌

Santiment, a group of humans who apparently get paid to stare at blockchain data until their eyes water, noticed DOGE causing quite the stir online. Imagine their surprise when they realized people still care about a cryptocurrency based on a Shiba Inu meme from 2013. 🕵️♂️💸

The Argentine cryptocurrency scene is thriving in 2026, much like a man in a sauna who’s finally found his groove. Analysts claim the use cases for crypto are “evolving,” which is code for “we’re not just hoarding dollars anymore.”

This week, in a shocking twist that could only be outdone by a daytime soap opera, cryptocurrency mining and trading activities were officially legalized in Turkmenistan! The man behind the curtain, President Serdar Berdimuhamedow, signed the laws at the end of November, and voilà, they became effective on Thursday. Who knew November was a month for groundbreaking legislation? 🎉

With bullish bets building fast, investors are now asking one key question, is this just a short bounce, or the start of something bigger? Well, if “something bigger” involves a dog wearing a monocle and a top hat, then yes. 🐕🎩

The intersection of artificial intelligence, social media, and its effects on political stability is now being scrutinized, much like a moth circling a flame. 🕯️

The market’s hotter than a jalapeño in a sauna! Buyers climbed 22.90% (probably fueled by FOMO and bad decisions), sellers rose 24.17% (smart people cashing out before the crash), and transactions jumped 10.54% (because why not?).

According to Financial Times and friends, Mindex’s online bazaar boasts drones, air defense systems, warships, and missiles. Imagine the SEO: “Buy ballistic missiles, Zcash-friendly!” 😏💣

What, you may inquire, could provoke such a dramatic fall? Why, it appears that the fair city of Caracas, in the distant land of Venezuela, hath been visited by a series of most alarming explosions! 💥 These detonations, whispered to be the handiwork of the formidable United States, have sent shockwaves not only through the streets of Caracas but also through the delicate nerves of Bitcoin’s investors.

XRP’s 2026 price forecast is a circus act, darling! One ringmaster says “transaction volume,” another yells “supply shenanigans!” But let’s be honest: who cares when money zips through the system faster than a chocolate-fueled squirrel? 🐿️💨

Quick settlements? Pfft. They’re like trying to catch confetti in a hurricane. XRP flutters in, XRP flutters out-no need for a mountain of tokens to play banker. It’s all just digital ticker-tape parades! 🎉

Lockup Mechanisms: The Great XRP Hide-and-Seek 🕵️♂️

TheCryptoBasic on X (yes, even robots play games) claims billions of XRP are hiding in lock-up boxes. mXRP, DeFi exchanges-oh, they’re playing “hide the cash” with $10 billion! Meanwhile, Flare Network plans to bury another $5 billion by mid-2026. And don’t even get me started on XRP ETFs hoarding 500 million like it’s a candy stash. 🍫

All Things XRP whispers, “This isn’t just a numbers game-it’s a magical mystery tour!” Conventional wisdom says fewer tokens = higher prices. But this? This is a rabbit hole only Alice could navigate. 🐰

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Critics: The Party Poopers with Charts 📊

Bill Morgan, the legal wizard with a spreadsheet for a heart, scoffs, “Supply shocks? Please! Exchanges still hold 15.4 billion XRP. Upbit’s got 6.25 billion-enough to drown a hippo in tokens!” 🐘

And Binance? Oh, they’re just sipping from the same pool with 2.52 billion. Bithumb? 1.82 billion. Together, they control 15% of the total supply-enough to throw a small party but not enough to crash the moon. 🌕

Web3Niels, the grumpy old man of crypto, moans, “Exchange balances hit 1.6 billion today-lowest in seven years! But guess what? There’s still enough liquidity to flood a desert. A small desert. Maybe a puddle.”

Critics mutter, “Where’s the real supply shock? We haven’t seen a true ‘shock’ since 2018-when I tripped over my own socks. Oof.” 😅