Of course, it wouldn’t be Fartcoin if there wasn’t a bit of drama. In just seven days, it’s down 27.75 percent—call it a crash diet. Even the trading volume has been on its own weight loss journey, dropping to $162.64 million. The only thing on the rise? Denial.
Dalio jumps on X, drops a thread, big hedge fund energy—real casual—telling everyone that if the Fed cuts rates too fast, it’s like giving a kid too much sugar. Chaos ensues. Interest rates go up, the dollar gets weak, gold’s having a party, and suddenly we’re all in trouble. What, this again? 🚨
The charts, meanwhile, are about as decisive as a committee designing a horse. ETH has planted itself at the bottom of this six-week range, like someone who’s realized the party snacks are down here, signalling buyers might still be hungry—or at least too stubborn to leave the table.
Binance is such a big deal here, its Tron-based USDT trades make up more than 65% of ALL activity. The other exchanges? They’re basically at the kids’ table, nibbling on chicken nuggets while Binance is carving up the roast.
Valuations tumble as if possessed by demons—or auditors. Memecoins across the realm are cast down in disgrace, but none quite so aromatically as our dear FARTCOIN, which droppeth some 9% in but a single day, leaving investors fanning their faces and counting their woes (though, curiously, with more trading than a Parisian fish market).
Another scandal at Almack’s! Hyperliquid has shamefully descended beneath its four-hour Ichimoku cloud—a level unseen since its younger, more modest days around $15. The esteemed Mr. CryptoCurb has declared this a most “notable technical shift,” as the once-admired cloud has bolstered HYPE’s reputation for weeks.
Not to be outdone, the World Economic Forum (a grand assembly, renowned for its love of expensive biscuits) hath murmured in 2024: “Synergies betwixt spatial computing, blockchain, and AI shall elevate our experience, and make even the buying of cabbages a digital ballet.”
In a plot twist that even the best soap operas would envy, this news comes as the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) seems to be warming up to the idea of ETFs. It’s like watching your grumpy uncle finally smile at a family gathering—unexpected but oh-so-satisfying! 😏
After the initial list of 11 candidates was whittled down in April, the Commission has now identified Solana (SOL) and Aptos (APT) as the top two blockchain networks under consideration for its WYST stablecoin. The selection process, which included a series of rigorous checks on vendor support and technical robustness, saw one network disqualified due to undisclosed compliance concerns. The Commission’s latest update, confirmed by an Aptos post on X on June 20, signals a tightening race between two of crypto’s fastest-growing ecosystems. 🚀
In a world where the only thing more volatile than the crypto market is the average politician’s opinion, our dear friend ZachXBT has decided to sound the alarm. Apparently, we are in the midst of a “crime supercycle” that makes a rollercoaster look like a kiddie ride. 🎢
