Crypto news

And thus, we find ourselves in a state of profound confusion, pondering the cryptic whispers of the market’s future. Is there a credible prediction, or are we merely chasing phantoms in the dark? 🧠

According to Glassnode, there are three price levels where XRP seems to be acting like a stubborn mule. The first, a hefty $2.17, is the resistance level where a bunch of XRP was hoarded, like a bear preparing for winter. On the other hand, $1.96 and $1.78 are the support zones. These are the comfy spots where holders are just sitting, hoping the market doesn’t decide to give them a nasty surprise.

Ah, the legendary $3,350 threshold! The very place where ambitions go to die-housing the 200-day moving average and a horizontal resistance so steadfast it could outlast the tsars. Since that fateful rejection, ETH’s price has cooled down like a sullen clerk after a reprimand, but lo, it has not yet plummeted below the lofty peaks of November’s higher lows. Daan Crypto Trades, a man of keen eye and sharper wit, notes:

And let’s not forget the heavy volume-284% above normal, according to CoinDesk’s fancy technical analysis model. 📈🤯 Selling pressure? More like selling panic. 😰

These platforms are not your grandma’s bingo halls-they record every move on a blockchain, making sure no one has a secret back door. They use smart contracts, which are basically robotic bookies with attitude-they pay out wins faster than your uncle can lose his shirt at roulette. 🎰

Ah, the sacred ritual of regulatory compliance! 🕯️ Here, the OCC plays the role of a suspicious dowager, peering over her spectacles at newcomers daring to whisper, “Trust us.” Yet this charade ensures fledgling banks don’t gallop into the sunset before learning to saddle their ledgers.

The action kicked off with tiny transactions, whispering from the shadows of the old “1…” legacy wallets-probably trying to get in shape for their next big move. Last spotted in February 2021, these wallets decided to air out their dusty holdings with a series of microscopic transactions-because nothing says ‘I have something to hide’ like a parade of digital dust. Then, just like in all good thrillers, 33.7 BTC was whisked away through an intermediary hop, only to land in Coinbase Prime’s waiting embrace. Fancy, right?

And it wasn’t just Bitcoin-altcoins jumped in the chaos, probably trying to escape too, which helped push liquidations past the staggering $400 million mark. That’s a lot of financial heartbreak in just a single Friday afternoon, enough to make even the most hardened trader consider early retirement or a very long vacation on a beach somewhere that doesn’t accept crypto.

The legislative kabuki revolves around a proposed bill-an attempt to let pension funds peek into the glittering but treacherous crypto abyss. The labor unions, with the solemnity of ancient prophets, warn that such an act is akin to handing over grandma’s savings to a lady with a crystal ball-predictably capricious and likely to vanish in a puff of digital smoke. “Cryptos are too wild,” they cry, “and no one should gamble their golden years on this carnival of chaos.”

At CryptoMoon’s latest LONGITUDE event, these fine folks delivered optimistic forecasts, following a year of positive shifts, especially in the United States. You can practically hear the collective sigh of relief from the crypto community as they talk about how things are finally looking up. 🙌