Crypto news

ETH is eyeing a third higher low, setting the stage for a breakout to $5K. Will it happen? Only the blockchain gods know, but I’m betting on it like it’s a 2000% APR yield farm! 🤑

The thread began when Uniswap founder Hayden Adams spoke of an airport visit in Europe, a scene where the old order and the new ledger share the same air.

So, Dr. Martin Hiesboeck, Head of Research at Uphold, decided to drop some knowledge bombs on Twitter last Friday (yes, you heard that right, Twitter still exists). Apparently, the XRP Ledger has officially launched the MPT standard on its mainnet. This isn’t just another token; it’s designed to make issuing RWAs and institutional instruments on-chain smoother than a greased weasel. Oh, and it’s fungible. What does that mean for you? No idea, but it sounds impressive.

Bitcoin, that most enigmatic of digital assets, briefly ascended to the celestial heights of nearly $124,000, while Binance Coin, in its own right, attained a new historical apex at approximately $1,190. How quaint, that the mere mention of a price tag can stir the souls of mortals, as if the market itself were a symphony of human folly.

In a brazen post on X, scrawled on that fateful day of October 3, 2025, Alderoty bellows his conviction that Selig is the chosen one to bridge the chasm between the CFTC and SEC, forging regulations as clear as the muddied waters of Wall Street regulation, thus banishing the fog of confusion that plagues our digital dreamers. Oh, the farce of it all, attempting to harmonize the wolves guarding the henhouse! 😂🔨

In a deal that’d make a gold-digger weep, Hut8-crypto’s answer to a mining baron-snagged WLFI tokens at $0.25 apiece for their treasury. The tokens? Snatched straight from WLFI’s piggy bank, locked up tighter than a safe in a vault, with no new supply minted. Circulating supply? Still the same ol’ song, just a different verse.

A merry dance of increasing stablecoins, coupled with an uplifting surge in Total Value Locked. Oh, what a ball it must be!

Ray Dalio, not just your ordinary hedge fund wizard (with a trophy cabinet as big as the Patrician’s Council Chamber), has tossed his hat into the Bitcoin ring, declaring its role as money and hinting about the charming chinks-the code vulnerabilities-that it defies being robust in that role.

With regulations settling like dust in the American sun, the stablecoin realm has swelled beyond three hundred billion, a colossus in crypto’s whimsical tapestry. Yet, fragmentation-oh, that blessed nuisance-persists, scattering issuers like drunken guests at a provincial gathering, each claiming their patch of stable ground. 🚀

For the fourth time running, spending proposals meant to reopen the nation have been rejected by lawmakers from both sides, leaving the shutdown to nap on the job and pushing any glorious reform into next week. The coffee cups are stacked high, and the general mood is somewhere between “we’ll sort it out” and “please don’t make us fax this again.” 😅