Crypto news

The recent controversy, often called the first of its kind involving Microstrategy, has brought fresh attention to how openly and responsibly public companies should manage their significant investments in cryptocurrencies.

Fast food titan Steak ‘n Shake has daringly unleashed a monstrosity called the “Bitcoin Steakburger” to celebrate its “groundbreaking” shift to Bitcoin payments. Their COO, Dan Edwards, once declared they save “50% in processing fees” by sending money to a digital ledger only cryptographers understand. Who needs banks when you can just… hope the blockchain works?

The 11 bitcoin ETFs collectively said, “Peace out!” to $536.4 million, while ether ETFs watched $56.8 million walk out the door. 🚪💸

In the aftermath of this digital disaster, Bitcoin (BTC) and its crypto cousins have been sulking like teenagers after a breakup. BTC dipped below the $110,000 mark, which is roughly the cost of a small island or a really nice yacht. Ethereum (ETH), XRP, and Binance Coin (BNB) also took a beating, with losses of 10%, 17%, and 7%, respectively. It’s like they all got invited to a party and showed up in last season’s blockchain. 🥴

Santiment, a sage of the blockchain world, frets over a peculiar sight. The “Supply Distribution” chart, that analog of the sea’s tides, reveals sharks and whales abandoning their kelp forests. These are no small switchtails but leviathans holding from 10 to 10,000 coins-each a treasure equal to a small kingdom’s wealth. The “Supply Distribution” metric, noble in its simplicity, now howls like a storm.

Analysts say, “This week changes everything!” (stage whispers: *probably*). Sure, maybe the SEC will bless XRP with regulatory kumbaya music. Or maybe it’ll just spend October 10th doomscrolling Reddit for cryptocurrency ghost stories. Either way, here’s your survival guide for crypto’s latest reality show.

But plot twist: this lopsided mess is finally getting a facelift, thanks to pesky regulations and folks hungry for digital dosh that doesn’t scream “Made in America.”

According to reports, the government will give the SESC the power to investigate suspicious trades and suggest penalties or criminal charges if someone’s up to no good. Because nothing says “trust us” like letting a commission decide who’s a criminal. 🚨

Dogecoin (DOGE) has dropped to $0.1900, its lowest point since October 12. Now it’s just sitting there with a market cap of $28 billion. You know, pocket change. But here’s the kicker: it’s still a whopping 60% lower than its peak this year. It’s like the crypto equivalent of being ghosted by your ex… but with less closure.

The capital raise, a most agreeable union of equity and project development financing, was spearheaded by the ever-enthusiastic Framework Ventures, who seem to believe that every venture is a golden goose. 🦆