Right now, SHIB is wobbling around near $0.0000105. It’s up…a little. But more importantly, it’s staying up, which is a novel concept. For weeks, it’s been trying to break past that $0.000010 barrier, and honestly, it was starting to feel like a really stubborn wall. Now that that cursed zero is gone, people are cautiously optimistic. “Cautiously” being the operative word. Don’t go spending your life savings just yet.
Bitcoin climbed 4.1% in the last 24 hours, reaching $106,034. It’s like watching a slow, triumphant recovery after a rough week-steady, but certainly no fireworks. The trading volume? Oh, that increased by over 35%, but ETF inflows remain as quiet as a mouse in a library. Meanwhile, Ethereum, never one to sit in the shadows, jumped over 7%, cruising comfortably around $3,643. On-chain activity is picking up, staking inflows are bubbling up like a forgotten bottle of soda, and the ETH/BTC ratio is ever so slightly rising. A little hint, perhaps, that the smart contract crowd is feeling a bit more glamorous these days.
Indeed, the grand chart of Dogecoin displays a robust Elliott Wave 5-wave patter-so predictable, even your grandmother’s tea leaves couldn’t miss it-hinting at a possible journey to the $1 to $2 range. As if Doge wasn’t already the darling of the digital circus. 🎪
Apparently, Ghana doesn’t even have rules for these crypto things yet. Can you believe it? They’re saying they aren’t “hostile” or “friendly” to it. What does that even mean?! It’s like saying you’re “neutral” on socks with sandals. Just…pick a side! They finally realized, thanks to some international standard thingy (FATF, whatever), that they can’t just ignore it. It’s like realizing you have to eventually do laundry.
Behold, the CEO of Input Output Global, a man who sees beyond the veil of mere mortals, has uttered a bold decree. “A beast year,” he proclaims, as if the stars themselves align for crypto’s triumph. Yet, the market, fickle as a Moscow winter, has its doubts. ❄️
Most managers are treading water, though. Over half keep their crypto stakes so small, it’s like putting a single M&M in a suitcase of gold bars. On average, funds are committing 7% to crypto-related investments. But hey, 7% is a very generous tip at a Bitcoin buffet. And 71% plan to up their game next year-because nothing says “risk management” like doubling down on an asset that can evaporate faster than your patience during a Zoom call.
Imaginary picture placeholder: a scandalous “Crypto drama” scene
Since September, Zcash has risen like a specter from the depths, its value soaring over 700%. Imagine, dear reader, a coin once languishing in obscurity, now strutting across the stage with intraday highs above $700! The market, ever fickle, has embraced it once more, propelling ZEC into the top 20 by market capitalization. A standing ovation, indeed!
Why did TikTok have to be sold? Because it was the first global platform not run by the usual Silicon Valley suspects. 🌍✨ Sure, there were rumors about China spying on us, but let’s be honest-everybody’s spying on everybody. It’s like a global game of “I Spy,” but with fewer cars and more data. 🚗👀
As the latest oracle from Coinbase suggests, the recent tumult in the markets was akin to a mite of a spring cleaning, not a tumble down a well. Our learned friends there believe a new rise is brewing beneath the surface like a sleepy tomcat plotting its next nap.