What makes this shift so utterly fascinating, you ask? Why, it’s the audacity of it all! Crypto, the nouveau riche of payment methods, has sashayed into the spotlight and declared itself king. Not merely popular, mind you, but practical, secure, and oh-so-superior. It’s the Gatsby of transactions, throwing the most lavish parties while keeping its secrets close. 🕵️♂️💎
According to the ever-accurate data from SoSoValue (yes, that name really rolls off the tongue), Bitcoin ETFs have amassed a jaw-dropping $158.96 billion in assets under management. That’s nearly 7% of Bitcoin’s total market cap. Who needs gold, right? Bitcoin ETFs are the new shiny object in town, and everyone’s getting a piece.
Behold, the crypto crash-a tempest of unprecedented fury, where hidden leverage, like a serpent coiled in the grass, struck with venomous precision. Over $19 billion, a fortune as fleeting as a candle’s flame, was snuffed out as the market’s fragile edifice crumbled. Traders, in their hubris, had abandoned the solid ground of spot trading for the treacherous waters of leveraged positions, lured by the siren song of perp DEX airdrops. Thus, they masked the true perils of the market, only to be caught in the maw of its insatiable hunger. When Trump’s 100% tariff announcement, a thunderclap in the calm, struck the already overbought equities market, it was as if the gods themselves had tipped the scales. The altcoins, those fragile blossoms of speculation, withered under the weight of overexposed leverage and mismatched valuations, their liquidity evaporating like mist at dawn. A brutal reset, yet a prelude to the next cycle-a dance of chaos and rebirth. 🌪️💸
But hey, here’s the kicker. That onchain stuff-and I don’t get half of that yet-seems to be saying something with a smile. Apparently, Bitcoin miners aren’t rushing to dump their Bitcoin. What does that mean? Oh sure, keep up Bitcoin, hold onto it like I hold my later episodes of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” This might mean, who knows, the miners are actually betting on Bitcoin’s long game (unlike me with my vacations).
The analysis, meticulously compiled by Galaxy Research (the zeal of the analysts is almost… touching), details a barrage – 41,523 OP_RETURN messages, dispatched from 3,738 addresses to 39,423 recipients, all cradling a collective 2.334 million BTC. Mostly purses long abandoned, gathering digital dust for an average of nearly six years. It’s a rather pathetic image, isn’t it? Searching for unclaimed scraps in the vastness of the blockchain. Like a starving bureaucrat rummaging through refuse.
On Thursday, Digital Currency Group (DCG), led by early Bitcoin backer Barry Silbert, announced a strategic $10 million investment in Bittensor through its newly launched AI infrastructure arm, Yuma Asset Management. According to Bloomberg, the fund will focus on supporting AI projects built on Bittensor’s decentralized intelligence network, with plans to raise additional capital in coming quarters. 🤖💸
In a YouTube livestream that was equal parts TED Talk and roast session, Hoskinson dissected the proposal like a surgeon with a grudge. And let’s just say, the Democrats didn’t walk away with a clean bill of health. 🩺😬
Lo, more international firms peep from afar and crave to plant banners in Argentina, to invest in the digital assets’ spectacle. Lemon, that Argentinian exchange of coin, hath closed its Series B, and with twenty million in its coffers, vows to aid its expansion across LatAm.
The financial world was sent into a tailspin when Trump, in a move that surprised absolutely no one, threatened tariffs on Chinese imports. The cause? China’s stranglehold on rare earth minerals-those shiny bits of rock that make your smartphone smarter than you. 🌍🔨
According to dispatches, the National Tax Service (NTS), in a proclamation dated the ninth of October, hath made known their resolve. A resolve as steadfast as a Darcy at a ball, yet far less charming. 💼
