Crypto news

Bitcoin’s still hanging around $103,000 like a bad houseguest who won’t leave. 🤦‍♂️ Meanwhile, ZEC, ICP, and QNT are up 18%-probably because they’re the only ones with a pulse. 💃

The 1-hour chart, my loves, reveals a microstructure as dramatic as a Coward play-a V-shaped recovery following a sharp downward flush below $99,000. The rebound, while swift, has since slowed into a sideways range, defined by lower highs and weakening volume. Buyer fatigue, darlings? It’s as clear as a martini at midnight. 🍸

The Zcash chart, a scroll of chaos and triumph, erupted in Q4 like a volcano of forgotten ideals. At $538, ZEC crowned itself anew, its ascent fueled by the fickle winds of Fed policy and Bitcoin’s feeble attempts to reclaim dignity. Yet, what of Arthur Hayes, that mad prophet of crypto, who declared $1,000 per ZEC with the fervor of a man who’d seen too many graphs and too little sleep? “A dream,” one might say, yet his long positions dance like waltzing ghosts across exchanges, amplifying the chaos.

According to Arkham, on November 4th, over 233 billion… yes, with a B, billion SHIB were moved from Coinbase’s hot wallet to some mysterious deposit address. And then, like a bad boomerang, poof, they’re back at Coinbase’s main wallet. No swaps, no external addresses-just a little inside job. Maybe a liquidity test? Or Coinbase’s way of saying, “Look, we’re just fiddling around, no big deal”? Or maybe they just like to keep us guessing. 🤔

In a tweet that could double as a dystopian novel’s prologue, the author of Rich Dad Poor Dad (a manifesto for financial literacy or a capitalist fairy tale?) warned of America’s descent into “control and dependency.” To him, Bitcoin and Ethereum are not mere assets but “the people’s money”-a phrase that sounds suspiciously like a revolution’s rallying cry, albeit one with a 20% transaction fee. 🚀

So, one hears that SBI Digital Markets – a name that frankly requires a decoder ring – has decided to put all its eggs in the Chainlink basket. Apparently, a ten trillion yen house doesn’t trust its own custodians, and requires the assistance of a clever bit of code to move tokens about. All very modern, no doubt, but one does wonder if a signed IOU and a trustworthy chap wouldn’t have sufficed. Something about ‘secure transfers’ and ‘sensitive data.’ Oh, the drama! It’s all rather frightfully efficient, naturally, and will accelerate “onchain finance expansion across Asia and Europe.” I shudder to think what that entails. 🙄

Now, what’s spurring this miraculous uplift, you ask? It appears that a delightful concoction of fresh sentiment, a sprinkle of on-chain accumulation, and a renewed taste for altcoins that actually do something useful are driving this upward march. Yes, indeed, it seems ICP’s momentum has room to roam like a stray cat in search of a cozy sunbeam. 🌞

Tangem Pay, they call it. A fittingly bland name for what amounts to a method of spending USDC – that most modern of currencies – using a Visa card, while retaining control of the funds. Such novelty! One wonders if this is progress, or merely a more elaborate form of financial entanglement. 😉

The initial retreat below $2.25 and $2.20 by XRP, mirroring the dance of Bitcoin and Ethereum, plunged it beneath the $2.150 and $2.120 perches. Its descent formed a low, a tranquil $2.066, before igniting its nascent recovery. The spirited rebound surpassed the $2.20 and $2.25 levels, audaciously scaling the 50% Fib retracement of its previous downward peregrination from the $2.552 pinnacles to the $2.066 nadir.

Should the stars align-sustained activity above 1.7 million Active Addresses and a breakout past $3-APT might ascend to $4. But hope, like a Russian winter, is both cruel and fleeting. ❄️