According to the wise sages at Glassnode, Bitcoin’s Accumulation Trend Score has soared to a year-to-date high. At the time of writing, it stands at a modest 0.43—an indicator of growing demand, or perhaps just a sign that everyone is feeling a bit more optimistic today.
Enter Thierry Wizman, the global FX and rates strategist at Macquarie Group, who basically said, “Trump’s tariffs are like that party crasher who ruins your vibe.” Apparently, these tariffs don’t just mess with the dollar’s mojo as a safe haven during market freakouts, but they might also kick it off the throne of global currency dominance. Ouch. 🥴
As of now, those put options tied to XRP are costing more than calls. That’s like paying extra for a ticket to a movie you know is going to be a flop. 🎬
“Every big ETH bull run started chilling around or under this lower band (green) thing, meaning folks were scooping up coins like they were on a Black Friday sale,” the analyst says, probably to sound smart at dinner parties.
When those poor WazirX users pleaded their case, Justice Gavai sweetly replied, “We are not inclined to entertain the plea and representation may be made to the authorities and let it be decided in accordance with law.” Translation: “Go bother someone else, we have bigger fish to fry.” 🍵
As chronicled by the ever-watchful Lookonchain, this financial ballet began on the 12th of April, with Galaxy Digital sending ETH in a flurry of transactions. To date, they have dispatched approximately 58,000 ETH, a staggering sum that, at the time, was valued at a cool $92 million. Talk about a crypto conga line!
And guess what? The “crypto-whisperer” president you were hoping for rolled in, but instead of a market glow-up, Ether decided to nosedive 40%, and Bitcoin slid down to a humble $78,000 before limping back just a bit. Tragicomedy, anyone?
Solana Network Inflows Fuel Market Optimism, or, “Why Are We All So Excited?”
Thanks to the digital cesspools they call online casinos, these slots no longer lie in silence, their reels a chorus of dull fruit and thirds, but instead don vibrant cloaks woven from tales, myths, and fantasies that ensnare the mind as surely as the bottle or the needle. Searching for your soul’s doom—or delight—in a game? Perhaps one of these themes will seduce your very spirit, and if luck has mercy, your purse as well. 🍀🎰
This, they claim, is to “spotlight” the potential risks quantum computing poses to Bitcoin’s security. As if we needed another reminder of our own mortality! 💀 If some greasy-haired genius actually succeeds, a sum so vast it could shame emperors – approximately 6.2 million BTC (worth a paltry $500 billion) – could be at risk. Imagine the chaos, the despair! The fat cats would weep into their caviar! 😂