Crypto news

Solana is having a strong week, climbing 15.5% over the past seven days and adding another 5.5% in just the last 24 hours. As of 10 a.m. Eastern on Monday, SOL is trading at $192.71 per coin. 🚀💸

Imagine, if you will, a return of 640% in a mere 12 moons! 🌕 Bloomberg, that bastion of financial gossip, doth report that this windfall sprang from investments in companies that hoarded Bitcoin like squirrels with acorns. But hark! 210k Capital, being a private entity, keeps its books under lock and key, though whispers from an anonymous source reveal a global treasure hunt spanning the US, UK, Canada, Australia, and Sweden. 🇸🇪

Eight long years have crawled by, like a condemned man’s final march, and yet, lo! 36 billion XRP remain shackled, their value swelling to a staggering $131 billion in today’s coin of the realm. The masses, ever ravenous for liberation, now fix their gaze upon the hour of release. But ah, the irony! The data from XRPwallets, that oracle of the crypto commons, doth whisper of a timeline stretching from 6 to 10 years, depending on the capricious whims of Ripple’s strategists. 🧙♂️

As the annals of history bore witness, the ether ETF surged forth, unfurling the banners of victory with a staggering $2.18 billion in net inflows—a feat unmatched in the grand saga of ether. Such a performance not only boasts a ten-week triumphant streak but also underscores the burgeoning and perhaps intoxicating thirst of institutions for ETH exposure. Oh, the irony of wealth and wisdom, tangled yet sublime!

Ah, the sacred Form 8-K! Filed with the SEC on July 21, it reveals Strategy’s latest heist: 6,220 BTC snatched at $118,940 apiece, like a miser in a Bitcoin gold rush. Their total hoard? A staggering 607,770 BTC. One wonders if the market is dancing to their tune or merely gasping in awe. 🎭

Grok and a bunch of other so-called experts are saying this surge looks eerily similar to that 2024 Q3 madness. If history repeats itself—and let’s face it, it always does in crypto because no one learns— we might be kicking off a new meme coin super cycle. People are flocking to weirder stuff like Token6900 ($T6900), making Dogecoin look as stable as a pension fund. I mean, who needs fundamentals when you can have pure chaos? 🤪

On the fateful day of July 21st, TonBit, with eyes sharp as a hawk’s, uncovered a critical flaw that threatened to plunge the entire network into chaos. A null-pointer dereference, no less! Imagine a ghostly specter capable of injecting false messages to crash the very heart of the blockchain. 🧟‍♂️

The cost basis distribution, presented in a heatmap (how terribly modern!), reveals that over eight million SOL were accumulated between $189 and $191. One imagines a flurry of hopeful clicks and frantic key presses. A most heavily contested zone, indeed! It represents the last gasp of optimism before the inevitable… well, you know. 📉

This move is part of their ongoing Bitcoin treasury strategy and now makes up roughly two-thirds of their $3 billion in liquid assets. In addition to this, Trump Media has also put aside around $300 million to buy bitcoin options. The company plans to keep buying more bitcoin and related assets, and may convert these options into actual bitcoin depending on market conditions. These assets will help generate revenue and could be used to buy even more crypto in the future. It’s like a 🐍 eating its own tail, but with more 💰!

Novogratz, a man whose love for Bitcoin is as fiery as the Ankh-Morpork City Watch’s annual bonfire, recently pondered a mystery: Why do some WNBA players dislike Caitlin Clark? “I can’t understand why the WNBA players hate @CaitlinClark22 or why anyone hate $BTC!!” he tweeted. “The corn and the Iowa girl are pretty damn great in my mind!!!”