Crypto news

Oh aye, says Swissblock, a local bottom might sprout up soon, like mushrooms after rain – if pigs could fly, that is. 🐖

Yet the root cause, that sly bugger, remains under the lens of investigators, while the damages-some eight thousand dollars, give or take a few coins-are promised to wander back to the offended wallets, as if a benevolent mischief-maker had finally paid his due. A promise, of course, wrapped in the glittering ribbon of “full compensation.”

For those of us who weren’t paying attention around those doom-laden (yet secretly exciting) days back in 2017, Zhao’s memory lane trip is a bracing reminder that Bitcoin once traded as lowly as $4,300. Peering into this sepia-toned past, he throws us a bone of knowledge with imagery of Bitcoin being a pre-adolescent in September, soon to catapult to adulthood by the time December’s Christmas lights were up. Talk about fast growth! 🎄🚀

The much-anticipated “Uptober” has arrived, and the momentum is already stirring on the very first day of the month, like a riverboat engine waking from a nap. 😅

Alas, the DTCC’s nod is but a prelude, a waltz of bureaucracy before the grand finale. The SEC, that fickle arbiter of fate, remains in the shadows, its verdict a riddle wrapped in a mystery. One might say the ETFs are like lovers’ promises-sweet, tantalizing, yet fraught with uncertainty. 💔

This news has sparked a flurry of emotions in the XRP community. Some folks are all “thank you, David, for everything,” while others are frantically typing “XRP is done for” as if they’ve seen the future. 🙄

Markets Yawn Casual, But Crypto Twitches Like a Devil’s Own Tail

The government, with all the haste one might expect, intends to unveil its first draft bill concerning these won-pegged entities in October. They whisper of protecting the users, a noble aim, certainly, and preventing private issuers from indulging in what they delicately term “seigniorage-like profits.” As if a little profit is a crime these days! 💸

In a shocking twist (that no one saw coming except everyone), the SEC’s Division of Investment Management dropped a no-action letter like it’s a mic at a karaoke bar. Translation: “We won’t sue you… probably.”

It’s a right pickle, isn’t it? These ‘Sharks’ and those silly little ‘Retail Traders’ are having a bit of a fire sale. A most unpleasant spectacle. 🙄