Sunil revealed that FTX creditors were bombarded by an email from an address pretending to be Kroll. The prose? A Shakespearean tragedy: “Dear Client, Kroll Restructuring Administration LLC is the agent overseeing the resolution process…” followed by a partnership with “Digital Disbursements.” The cherry on top? A no-reply email and a plea to “set up accounts.” Spoiler: It’s a scam.
The corporate hands gripping tight to the soil of Bitcoin, Brazil’s largest crypto exchange, are mostly small and mid-sized outfits-scrappy survivors who’ve seen currencies crumble and inflation gnaw at savings like locusts on crops. Daniel Cunha, Mercado Bitcoin’s corporate wrangler, called them “the new settlers of the digital frontier,” which is a fancy way of saying they’re not here to gamble.
Today’s performance sees ATH pirouetting from its recent lows to the $0.062 mark, with the audience (traders, darlings) holding their breath for a reprise of its $0.12 crescendo. Market sentiment, ever the fickle prima donna, has swung faster than a Coward one-liner, with dips being devoured like canapés at a cocktail party. 🍾
The collision of Wall Street institutions and crypto-native firms is less a revolution and more a chaotic waltz. Investors, meanwhile, clutch their portfolios like nervous debutantes at a stock market ball. The next few weeks? A circus. Let’s dissect the chaos.
Yet lo! A voice rises from the abyss-CRYPTOBIRB, that sardonic oracle of the blockchain-whispers that September’s specter is but a red herring. The true drama, they claim, lies in the fourth quarter, where Bitcoin may yet rise from its ashes, phoenix-like, to claim its destiny. Or perhaps a pyramid scheme? The line between prophecy and madness grows thin, dear reader.
Seventy-five percent of the losses claimed altcoins, and nearly forty-five percent rested on ETH as it slipped from the sunlit four thousand, as if a bright day chose to retreat behind a cloud. Yet the horizon does not relent; the map still glows with quiet, stubborn possibility. 😅
Oh, and before you think Bitcoin’s woes were an isolated incident, brace yourself. Ethereum ETFs had a particularly miserable time as well, suffering an additional $248 million in outflows. This marks the fifth consecutive day of investors saying “No thanks” to the ether, led by Fidelity’s FETH, which waved goodbye to a hefty $158 million. The kind of financial exodus that makes one wonder if these investors are going on some sort of group vacation to nowhere.
While Mitchnick, with the grace of a man dodging a question at a grand ball, offered no concrete revelations, he did unfurl the tapestry of BlackRock’s grand strategy-a strategy woven with threads of “client demand,” “investment theses,” and “portfolio considerations.” One might imagine the great Leo himself scribbling in the margins: *“What problem are we solving? Ah, the eternal riddle of man’s folly.”*
Yet, in this twilight of uncertainty, the crypto whales-those silent titans of the deep-have emerged, their appetites whetted by the scent of opportunity. While the masses wail, they feast, their wallets swelling with the spoils of the downtrodden. A spectacle, is it not? 🎭🐳
Apparently, it all started at 11 p.m. UTC when someone at Aster (probably an intern, let’s be real) hard-coded the XPL index price at $1. Yes, $1. As if XPL were a stablecoin, not the fancy native token of Plasma’s blockchain. Meanwhile, the mark price was chilling at $1.22. Then, someone lifted the cap, and boom! Prices hit $4 while other exchanges were like, “Uh, XPL is $1.30? What’s going on here?” 🤷♀️
