Bitcoin’s Shadow Empire Rises

The global bitcoin mining heat map, that clever tool of the digital cartographers at hashrateindex.com, paints a vivid picture of where the true power lies. The United States, marked by the map’s darkest shade, still holds the crown, commanding a 35.81% share of the global hashrate. But for how long? 🤔

Crypto Cash Splash: H100 Group and Agora Finance Dive In with Millions!

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The real star of the show was H100 Group, which managed to rake in a whopping $54 million. That’s more than the GDP of some small countries, and it’s not even the end of the month! Finance and banking ventures, it seems, are the life of the party, accounting for nearly half of the week’s total deal flow. Investors, it appears, are still betting on real-world utility and infrastructure as the next big thing in crypto. Who knew building something useful could be so… profitable? 🤑

Why FUNToken’s Deflationary Model is the New Black in Web3

Its model is built around transparent, predictable supply reduction. This strategy not only supports long-term price stability but also reinforces many of the values that inspired Web3 itself: trustlessness, transparency, and true ownership. It’s like a well-tailored suit in a world of fast fashion. 🎩

Feds Bust the Mother of All Health Scams 🚑💸

The DOJ has rounded up 324 defendants in an alleged $14.6 billion fraud scheme that’s as complex as a Russian novel. It involves fake billing, kickbacks, and enough opioid peddling to put a smile on the face of a pharmaceutical executive (just kidding, those guys are never happy). 😒

Tether’s Great Escape: Abandoning Ship?

As of September 1, 2025, USDT redemptions on the aforementioned blockchains will be a thing of the past. The remaining tokens will be frozen in time, like a Soviet-era time capsule. ⏰ Customers who don’t want to be left out in the cold are advised to redeem their holdings ASAP or request a transfer to a supported blockchain. After all, who wants to be stuck with a bunch of useless tokens? 😂

Ethereum’s Grand Dance: Will It Waltz Twice as Fast? 💃💰

Enter EIP-7782: an esteemed Ethereum Improvement Proposal currently at the theater of debate! This splendid proposal could gracefully reduce latency by half, reorganize the very strands of bandwidth, and elevate the user experience of our beloved smart contract playground, as revealed by our masked commentator on the esteemed platform known as X.