In the last 48 hours, wallets brimming with 100 million to 1 billion DOGE tokens gorged on 2 billion coins, as if savoring a feast of digital caviar. This feast, orchestrated by the enigmatic Ali Martinez, was witnessed through Santiment’s spectral lens. The acquisition occurred during a fleeting dip to $0.245, a momentary sigh in the market’s grand opera.
BTC now lags by a charming 70 days, while gold clings to M2 with the devotion of a Victorian suitor. A tale of two assets, perhaps? Gold, the paragon of risk-off elegance, and Bitcoin, the rakish risk-on rogue.
Swiss asset manager 21Shares has set its Dogecoin ETF, trading under TDOG, before the Depository Trust & Clearing Corporation, now listed on the DTCC’s Active and Pre-Launch roster. Broker-dealers can run their checks-setting up the ticker, smoothing the clearing wires-while the vast machinery pretends to be efficient. 😅
Uniswap Labs just dropped The Compact v1, an ownerless ERC-6909 contract that’s basically the blockchain version of a universal remote. It tackles cross-chain fragmentation by letting blockchains share reusable resource locks. Spoiler: It’s a “huge step” toward developers building apps that don’t make your brain hurt. 🤯
The November 29 unlock will unleash team tokens representing 23.8% of the total supply over 24 months, with analysts warning of about $500 million in monthly selling pressure. Yes, that’s a lot of receipts and a lot of receipts looking for refunds.
In the labyrinth of the cryptocurrency economy, Asia-Pacific has become the minotaur, both feared and revered. Chainalysis, that modern oracle, unveiled its 2025 Geography of Cryptocurrency Report on Sept. 24, and lo! The region has outstripped even its own audacity. Like a river in flood, it rivals North America in monthly transaction volumes, its momentum unyielding as it strides into the latter half of 2025. 🌊
Built on the OP Stack and fully compatible with Ethereum, Gate Layer is anchored by GateChain as its settlement layer, the company said in an emailed announcement on Wednesday. 📧 “Because nothing says ‘urgency’ like a Wednesday email with 27 exclamation points.”
Institutions are selling, while retail investors show weak accumulation, risking further downside unless buying pressure strengthens.
The American Securities and Exchange Commission, that bastion of meticulous order, now attempts to tame the wild beast of digital assets. The chair, Atkins – name like a particularly durable shoe – proclaims a “constructive” shift. Constructive, of course, being the favorite euphemism of those who intend to reshape things in their own image. 🙄 He hints at “rulemaking,” as if legislation springs forth fully formed from the minds of benevolent regulators, instead of being hammered into place by lobbyists and compromised principles. They approved one of those multi-crypto ETFs, you see. A symbolic gesture, a tossed bone to the howling dogs, meant to mask the tightening of the leash.
Yet behold! The spirited denizens of the crypto village, armed with their pixelated pitchforks and memes, rally to cast scorn upon his woeful lamentations, accusing him of peering too deeply into his cracked crystal ball-fixating rather foolishly on fleeting, short-term mumblings of the market.