So, Bolivia\’s Central Bank is considering piloting an interbank CBDC. That’s right, they think it might modernize their financial system and make it more secure. What\’s with a retail-based system, you ask? Well, apparently, they think it would benefit you about as much as a gold-plated toilet seat!
In a move that screams “we’re definitely not panicking,” Russia is fast-tracking crypto into its foreign trade playbook. Because when the world cuts you off from SWIFT, why not just invent your own financial rules? Finance Minister Anton Siluanov, in what we can only assume was a very serious meeting (or possibly a Bond villain brainstorming session), declared that crypto payments for imports and exports should be legalized-but only if the Bank of Russia gets to play Big Brother. Because oversight is fun.
x402 is Coinbase’s open-source genius plan to weaponize the HTTP 402 status code-a relic so old it probably still uses dial-up. In layman’s terms: websites, APIs, and AI bots now demand cash (usually USDC) mid-conversation. “Hey, I’ll fetch that data… for a fee.” 💸
Since 2014, the global M2 supply has swelled from $50 trillion to $100 trillion-a veritable flood of liquidity, as if humanity collectively decided to drown in its own wealth. Bitcoin, that sly trickster, rose 700x in kind, now claiming 2% of this deluge. VanEck, with the solemnity of a priest interpreting scripture, declares: “To hold less than this share is to bet against fate itself!” A bold claim, indeed, for an asset whose value is as stable as a drunkard’s heartbeat.
In a moment of candor, Moddaber confessed that Polymarket will one day unveil a crypto token, accompanied by an airdrop as generous as a thief’s share. Yet, the company’s focus? The US app, a priority as vital as bread in a famine. 🍞
So, the enigmatic LinkedIn founder, Reid Hoffman (yes, that guy who probably helped you get your job 15 years ago), made a post on October 24, casually dropping the news that he had splurged on a digital collectible called CryptoPunk. A few months ago. Because that’s what rich tech moguls do now, they collect digital art like it’s Pokémon cards, but with less nostalgia and more blockchain.
In the vast, $3.76 trillion cryptocurrency universe (yes, it’s bigger than your imagination), Bitcoin and Ethereum are the dynamic duo, hogging over 70% of the spotlight. But hold onto your hats, because the ETF landscape is doing the cha-cha! 💃 Bitcoin ETFs, once the belle of the ball with $30 billion in inflows, have stumbled to a mere $8 billion in Q3 2025. Ouch. Meanwhile, Ethereum ETFs are sashaying in with $9 billion, proving that ETH isn’t just a pretty face-it’s got the moves. 🕺
Per Coinglass, ETH futures open interest is $46.27B-basically, a giant “I O U” note between traders betting the farm 🏦.
This curious exchange came hot on the heels of a contentious spat, where Litecoin’s blithe remarks toward XRP had sent ripples of outrage across the crypto landscape. The XRP faithful, like lions defending their territory, roared with indignation at the jabs fired from Litecoin’s camp. Roasts, they called them! But were they really just savories, or spoiling eggs? 🍳🦁
Selig, once a scribe of cryptographic edicts at the SEC’s Crypto Task Force, now ascends to his throne, armed with quills dipped in both derivatives law and the arcane lore of blockchain. A disciple of the legendary “Crypto Dad” (Christopher Giancarlo, lest we forget his paternal patronage of decentralized ledgers), Selig’s résumé reads like a Tolstoyan epic of regulatory chess-a game where bishops and knights wear hoodies and speak in hashtags. 🎩♟️