ZOOZ Power just robbed the piggy bank for $180 million (thanks, investors?) to fund a new Bitcoin reserve strategy. Because who needs stability when you can pretend your balance sheet is a casino? 🎰 The stock jumped 250% in 48 hours-because nothing says “trust us” like turning cash into digital gold. 💎
Fiji, a tropical island nation in the South Pacific, is famous for its beautiful beaches, clear waters, and friendly tourism industry. However, as the country persists in receiving international tourists, it is also not accommodating of cryptocurrencies. Fiji National Anti-Money Laundering Council recently retracted a ban on all virtual asset service providers (VASPs), such as 🌴💸 crypto exchanges and other businesses in this area, recently.
Paolo Ardoino, Tether’s high priest of digital alchemy, proclaimed USDT the “savior of the damned” as Toyota and BYD-those modern charioteers of steel and circuitry-accept crypto for cars. A peasant buys a vehicle with digital phantoms, spared the indignity of watching his life’s savings evaporate like morning dew. How poetic. 🤔
The press release, dated Friday, claims the funds will be transferred via BitGo, Kraken, or Payoneer. Because who doesn’t want to trust their savings to a trio of crypto platforms that probably still owe their parents money? 💸
Drumroll, please… 🥁 The crown goes to Bitmain’s Antminer S23 Hydro 3U, the Beyoncé of miners, clocking in at 1,160 TH/s and 11,020 W. It’s raking in $50.06 a day-basically a latte habit for the rich and hash-y. ☕ But hold your horses, it won’t hit the shelves until January 2026. Because, you know, suspense. ⏳
However, the market seems to be drawing some confidence from the fast-approaching “Uptober” season, with many expecting the Bitcoin price to witness some upward momentum in the coming weeks. The latest on-chain data has identified a critical level to watch if the market leader is to retain this upward bias. 🌈
According to the illustrious DefiLlama (because who wouldn’t trust a llama with decentralized finance data?), Aster clocked in a jaw-dropping $793 million in transactions over the past 24 hours. Meanwhile, Hyperliquid could only muster a pitiful $462 million. Poor Hyperliquid, the glory days are behind you, apparently.
$SOL, that once timid token, now dances with a 29.54% waltz over 30 days. At $239, it teeters like a drunkard near $240, clutching its last drink. The real drama? Consolidation-because nothing says “confidence” like hesitating to cross a threshold.
In the fleeting moments of today, let us observe the 1-hour Bitcoin chart, where the price languishes in a sideways drift-a faint, perhaps even tragic, descent. The candlesticks, they seem to tremble in uncertainty, with their small, frail bodies reflecting nothing more than the weak, fading will of the market. The range between $115,400 support and $116,200 resistance is a battleground of indecision, a desperate pause before the inevitable storm. Will it rise or crumble? Neither side seems to care enough to fight for victory.
As stablecoins strut about the crypto scene like peacocks at a pigeon party, other nations, notably Russia, have decided to conjure up their own magics, known to Muggles as central bank digital currencies (CBDCs). Our man Siluanov, with his finger ever-poised over the pulse of the digital ruble, sees the shimmering potential for budgeting betterment. As he mused at the esteemed Moscow Financial Forum, the grand stage for financial come-ons, the time will come in 2026 when this digital wizardry is set for its debut performance.
