Crypto news

Kobeissi, who boasts a staggering 938,700 followers on X, tells us that the corporate demand for Bitcoin is “incredibly strong.” Well, duh! Who wouldn’t want a piece of that sweet, sweet crypto pie?

The 50-day moving average for revenue has reached a new high, a testament to the steady growth in usage and network activity. It is as if the very fabric of the blockchain has been woven with threads of gold, each trade a stitch in the tapestry of prosperity. Daily revenue has been rising consistently, and PancakeSwap continues to outpace other protocols on BSC in both fee generation and user activity. The latest data shows that the platform is handling more trades and collecting more fees than any other application on the chain. 📈

According to the omniscient DefiLlama, that great sage of the digital realm, Binance, the behemoth of crypto exchanges, has seen a net outflow of a cool $1.22 billion over the past week. One can almost hear the sound of champagne corks popping in the distance 🥂.

Local pamphleteers (known nowadays as “First Financial”) have breathlessly counted more than forty hopefuls at the starting line. Well-known titans—JD.com and Ant Capital, for example—are among those polishing their armor, each wondering whether theirs is the favored steed. With August 1 approaching like an overzealous tax collector, all eyes turn to the oracles who bear scrolls marked “Regulatory Framework.”

But, ah! As with the finest aspirations of provincial schoolboys in Chekhov’s stories, the ascent was brief and oddly anti-climactic. Within twenty-four hours, the momentum, as fickle as Moscow weather, slipped away. “Invalid!” muttered the market, as if pronouncing on a faded marriage proposal.

In a world where scammers are getting smarter, one case involved a 90-year-old man from Gujarat who lost ₹1.25 crore after being falsely told he was in legal trouble. In another case, a young jobseeker was lured to Nepal with a fake job offer and forced to move ₹49 lakh through crypto wallets. 😱

Comrades, Brian is no stranger to the factory floor of financial despair. His journey winds through dimly lit corridors of Yahoo Finance, the bureaucratic trenches of The Block, whispers in the gulag that is Decrypt, the echo chamber of The Independent, and even the samurai-flavored smoke break at Fuji Television. All this, capped nicely by The Daily Express, probably over tea so bitter it could power a Soviet locomotive. 🚂

Picture this: Qatar National Bank—the Colossus of Middle Eastern ledgers and sworn enemy of stuffed mattresses—partners with DMZ Finance, a sorcerer of tokenization, to conjure a money market fund so thoroughly modern, even Silicon Valley hipsters might spill their matcha lattes in surprise. It’s the inaugural tokenized fund planted within the verdant, artificially irrigated gardens of the Dubai International Financial Centre—an oasis for number crunchers who prefer their liquidity as crisp as freshly laundered linen.

XRP, a perennial guest at the cryptocurrency dinner table, was devised with a noble mission: to speed up cross-border transfers and relieve harried bankers of exorbitant fees—and possibly their boredom. Ripple, in its relentless quest for legitimacy, has spent years amassing partnerships with banks, almost as if gathering character references for a courtship.

Apparently, they’ve gathered over $540 million in action across a whopping 175,000 launches, which comes with about $34 million in fees. That’s a cozy 55.2% slice of the meme launchpad pie. Meanwhile, Pump.fun is clutching its dwindling 34.9% slice like it’s the last cookie at a networking event. 🍪