Enter, stage left, a crypto sage from the hallowed halls of platform X, who dares to prophesize Bitcoin’s next grand jeté. But, alas, there is a catch-a condition as delicate as a Wildean wit: the market leader must breach the $118,000 barrier. Only then, it seems, shall the bull run resume its triumphant march, leaving skeptics in its dust. 🌪️
It appears that Bitcoin ETFs have once again caught the attention of US investors, who, like a curious child, can’t resist the siren call of the cryptocurrency market. September, that most enigmatic of months, has seen a resurgence in interest, with some rather impressive performances over the past two weeks. 🧠🚀
Pump.fun [PUMP] decided to have a bit of fun itself, shooting up 31% to reach a peak of $0.008456, though one suspects its constitution couldn’t quite hold that altitude. It’s currently resting at $0.0082. A trifle breathless, one imagines.
Into this swirling talk stepped Arthur Hayes, co-founder of BitMEX, a man who’s seen the highs and lows of this digital gold rush. He offers a steady hand, telling the eager investors to slow their horses and curb their restless hopes. Bitcoin, he says, ain’t some lottery ticket that’ll buy you a shiny Lambo overnight, but it’s still one of the finest performers on this crazy planet of ours.
Last week’s economic data was about as cheerful as a dwarf with a hangover. 🧙♂️ The Federal Reserve’s now eyeing rate cuts like a kid eyes cake, making risky assets (like Bitcoin and stocks) look as tempting as a double-decker pie. 🥧
Like clockwork, the Ethereum [ETH] Foundation introduced its “Privacy Stewards for Ethereum” initiative. In what can only be described as a real soap opera, they’re planning 6 months of disguise tactics like private transactions and, I kid you not, secret voting. Because nothing screams “digital freedom” like voting incognito 😏.
Ah, the tale of Worldcoin, a coin which once swam in a sea of doubt and skepticism, but now basks in the warm glow of Tom Lee’s…what shall we call it? His ‘blessing’? Yes, a true seal of approval. Worldcoin [WLD], according to Tom, is absolutely essential for the brave new world of artificial intelligence. No, not just any AI, but the glittering, all-knowing, artificially aware general intelligence (AGI) of the future.
Now, don’t get your blockchain in a twist-the price has slowed down faster than my New Year’s resolution to eat more kale. But the crypto crowd? Oh, they’re buzzing like a bee in a Bitcoin field. Apparently, a “momentum-driven rally” is on the horizon. Or so says the internet, which, as we all know, is never wrong. 🤓
But no, everyone’s still obsessed with these overpriced, bloated LLMs. If this continues, the AI industry might slow down. Or maybe the U.S. economy will collapse. Either way, we’re doomed. 🤷♂️
According to our insightful oracle Dori, onchain assets shimmer with greater liquidity, bestowing upon lenders the power to summon margin calls like wizards conjuring spells-effortlessly and at any hour of the day! Picture this: it’s midnight on a Friday, and there’s a margin call lurking like a hidden monster in the shadows of the ETF world, when suddenly, you’re left flailing about in the dark, begging for liquidity. Dori muses:
