Bitcoin price plummets to $85k! Will it crash to $80k or bounce back? Find out!

Bitcoin’s price dropped like a lead balloon thanks to a long squeeze, where traders holding long positions were hit with a tsunami of liquidations. According to Coinglass, a whopping $443 million worth of long positions were liquidated in just 24 hours, compared to a paltry $26 million in short positions. Those long holders were probably cursing their luck as they watched their money vanish into thin air. 💸

🤑 XRP ETF: A Dash of Dash for the NYSE! 🤑

Bitwise Asset Management, with a flourish of their quill, has launched the Bitwise XRP ETF upon the grand stage of the New York Stock Exchange. The fund, I assure you, is now available for trading, having navigated the labyrinthine NYSE certification and SEC procedures with admirable aplomb. It is a spot exchange-traded fund, designed to offer investors direct exposure to XRP, the third-most esteemed cryptocurrency. 🌟

Crypto Confab: Lisbon’s Latest 🤔

From the fourteenth to the sixteenth of November, the Carlos Lopes Pavilion played host to this assembly of those who seek to make a living – or, at least, a passable imitation thereof – by discoursing on the marvels of digital currency. Executives, creators, and others of varying degrees of involvement populated the halls, all ostensibly engaged in pondering the shifting sands of influence and monetization. Such earnestness! 🙄

Aave Labs’ €25K Cryptocurrency Gift Makes Trinity Uni Ireland’s Cryptocurrency Guru 🤑🚀

The college announced it will use the cryptocurrency royalties to bolster students from less-represented backgrounds and whisk them off towards the promising careers in business-a philanthropic gesture that now means the electrical grid at college will soon have to carry the load of cryptocurrency mining rigs and not just the coffee makers. It’s noteworthy; this is the first ever crypto donation Trinity has received, seemingly amplifying the college’s role as a crypto old hand.

😂 Coinmasters’ Quirky Quandary: Coinbase & Ethereum Loans Hilarity

Coinbase has unveiled a delightful spectacle of financial alchemy: Ethereum (ETH)-backed loans. This new gift allows U.S. patrons, sparing New Yorkers, to borrow USDC, preserving their ETH in its untouched glory. Announced on the 20th of November, this pawn to debut their novel crypto-collateral lending service, previously the sole domain of Bitcoin (BTC).

¿RWA: The Imminent Wealth Whisperer? 🎩✨

RWA Market Growth

“Look here,” quoth Yin, his voice tinged with the spice of conviction and dreams, “the RWA value ascended in the dance of yesteryear, as if uncorked from a decanter of growth, doubling its prior stature. I, with the frivolity of hope, imagine an increase that ranges from three to fivefold in 2026, eyes darting eagerly across this bacchanal of digits as a base case. Imagine, if one could, our RWA holders list multiplying a tenfold since the rising sun of this year, forecasting yet another flamboyant entry into the annals of user growth with an awe-striking twenty-five fold rise.” 🍾📈

🚨 Crypto Crash Chaos: Will Bitcoin Bounce Back or Bury Us? 🚨

The global market cap’s sittin’ at $3.06 trillion, but don’t let that fool you-it’s about as stable as a three-legged stool on a rocky boat. The Fear and Greed Index? A measly 11, same as last week. And let’s not forget the 221,000 traders who got liquidated in the last 24 hours, losin’ $794 million faster than a gambler at a rigged roulette table. 🎢💔

Crypto Chaos: BTC Tanks to $85K, Ethereum and Friends Join the Dreadful Dip!

The total crypto market capitalization has officially fallen below the $3 trillion mark, the first time since May 8. RIP $3T. Bitcoin is now languishing at $85,310, down 7% in the last 24 hours, making it the perfect time for all the “HODLers” to reassess their life choices. Ethereum is at $2,784, XRP at $1.96, and Solana, bless its soul, is at $130-each falling between 7% and 8.4%. 🍂

BTC’s $200K Dream: A 4-Year Hiccup 🐘💸

Brandt’s forecast, a masterclass in understated optimism, contrasts sharply with the economic alchemists of the crypto world-Arthur Hayes, Tom Lee, and others who insist $200K is just a coffee break away. Meanwhile, Cathie Wood and Brian Armstrong dream of $1 million Bitcoin by 2030, a figure so lofty it could only exist in a universe where gravity is optional. Brandt, modest as ever, expects a mere fivefold lesser amount a quarter later. How humble.