Crypto news

The price of SHIB, that most capricious of creatures, has ascended by 3.21% in the last 24 hours, as if it had finally found its footing on the tightrope of fortune. 🚀

According to Arkham Intelligence and the cheekily named tracker ‘BMNR Bullz’, BitMine Immersion Technologies snatched up a whopping 379,271 ETH in three jumps: 202,037 ETH after a weekend tantrum, 104,336 ETH on Thursday, and 72,898 ETH on Saturday. Like a giant squirrel hoarding nuts for winter! 🐿️

Yet, a somber dispatch from the analysts reveals a cruel twist: our retail brethren have squandered nigh on $17 billion in this Bitcoin treasury escapade. The fervor, that intoxicating hype encircling BTC treasuries, now ebbs away like a receding tide, leaving investors to grapple with their emptied purses and dashed dreams. Sarcasm drips from the ledger: who could have foreseen such folly? 🙄

According to the ever-reliable Financial Times – that revered oracle of business – these magnates had joyously announced their participation in Hong Kong’s pilot stablecoin adventure last summer. But lo and behold, in a twist worthy of the finest soap operas, the talismanic regulators, including the relentless PBoC and the omniscient Cyberspace Administration, have intervened like a stern headmaster. “Nay! Step away from the stablecoin!” they decree.

The market, now in “extreme fear” territory, has not seen such gloom since April, when President Trump’s tariff tantrum caused a $500 billion implosion. This October, however, has outdone itself-a $900 billion hemorrhage, Bitcoin’s 17% plunge, and a collective gasp from even the most jaded traders. Truly, the market’s favorite hobby is to terrify itself.

The vaunted analyst has observed, with the kind of somber reflection usually reserved for rainy days, that the sacred Bitcoin-to-gold ratio has solemnly pierced the vital uptrend line born from 2022’s depths. Oh, the audacity! When this crucial bastion of hope crumbles, it seems our metallic friend is poised to outshine the new kid on the blockchain yet again-cue the dramatic music!

In a recent QuickTake post on the CryptoQuant platform, the ever-observant analyst CryptoOnchain unveiled a seismic shift across Bitcoin’s top exchanges. The star of this show is the Bitcoin Taker Buy Ratio, a metric that measures the proportion of trading volume initiated by buyers versus the avalanche of transactions from sellers. CryptoOnchain focused on Binance and the collective “All Exchanges” to paint a picture of the current market sentiment.

A petty six dollars, the analyst Ceteris informs us, is the current valuation. A mere six dollars! Less than the shadow cast by the FTX implosion of ’22. Eighty-six percent… a precipitous fall from the heights of forty-five in ’21. A collapse! One can almost hear the silent screams of the investors… 😱. Yet, the network itself, it expands! Sixfold, they claim! Trillions passing through its veins, billions in revenue… a grotesque mockery of prosperity, wouldn’t you say?

Reports, those harbingers of truth, reveal a grim picture: the Securities and Exchange Commission, once a bustling hive, now operates with a skeleton crew. Rulemakings are postponed, approval windows slammed shut. Applicants, poor souls, are left to languish in the purgatory of waiting, their hopes for swift sign-offs dashed against the rocks of inertia. Is this not the very essence of existential despair? 🌀

Ah, the ETFs-those fickle creatures of finance. It seems they’ve decided to pack their digital suitcases and bid adieu, leaving Bitcoin and Ethereum in a state of utter disarray. Crypto analyst Jana, ever the dramatic soul, has dubbed this fiasco “Bloody Friday,” a moniker that, while slightly less theatrical than last week’s debacle, still manages to capture the essence of the carnage. Bitcoin, poor dear, has tumbled 13.3% in seven days, while Ethereum, never one to be outdone, has slid 17.8% in the past month. At last glance, Bitcoin was clinging to $106,940, and Ethereum was hovering around $3,870-both looking rather worse for wear. 😱