Oh, the tragedy! South Korean investors, those valiant souls, fled to foreign lands in 2025, seeking the forbidden fruits of derivatives and hedging. A joint report by CoinGecko and Tiger Research, that most solemn of scribes, reveals the exodus of 160 trillion won-a flood that drowns the hopes of local exchanges!
In this grand theater of markets, XRP (XRP) parades as the tragic protagonist, teetering on the edge of oblivion. The $1.74 level? A crossroads where Fibonacci’s ghost conspires with the Value Area Low-a confluence of despair and delusion! 🌪️
Hackers are selling read-only access to Kraken’s internal admin panel on a dark web forum. Because what’s more fun than risking your data? 🎉
These gains were likely spurred by the release of Jupiter Mobile V3. This is a major update to its mobile app, the “first fully native pro trading mobile platform,” announced in a post on X. 🤯 (Note: X is now just Twitter, but we’re pretending it’s a secret society.)
From a sentiment perspective, the Crypto Fear & Greed Index is just 6 points shy of neutral – a level so neutral, it’s practically a nap in the middle of a hurricane! 🌪️💤
This plan, much like a peacock flaunting its colorful feathers, is aimed at expanding the influence of stablecoins, those peculiar little coins that promise stability in a world rife with volatility, akin to a cat walking on a tightrope. Moreover, our dear Brian intends to broaden the horizons of his digital dominion into various market verticals, as if they were ripe fruits hanging from a tree, begging to be plucked.
Meanwhile, the project is gearing up for the next price increase of its pre-launch phase. The next price increase will see the value of the HINU token rise from $0.00024581 to $0.00024675. A leap so thrilling, it’s like watching a snail race… but with more decimals. 🐌💸
But what’s behind this sudden resurgence, you ask? Well, my dear, let’s dive into the drama, shall we?
Coinbase CEO Brian Armstrong, who might as well be a wizard with a spreadsheet, has outlined his company’s 2026 vision: a global “everything exchange” where you can trade crypto, equities, commodities, and probably your firstborn if regulations permit. The plan is as ambitious as a Discworld wizard’s attempt to summon a sandwich.
According to the diligent, if somewhat dull, observers at the Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD), these 48 nations have committed to the rather intrusive act of collecting standardised crypto transaction data from January 1, 2026. The actual exchange of this information, presumably to be filed under ‘Miscellaneous and Slightly Suspicious,’ is anticipated in 2027. 🙄