Lo and behold! An analysis by the sage known as CrypFlow reveals a thunderous truth: the total market capitalization of altcoins, that elusive creature which spurns Bitcoin, has just achieved a zenith-its highest monthly close in the annals of history! Could this herald the long-anticipated arrival of an alt season, or merely an illusion, a mirage shimmering on the horizon?
The RSI is at 64.45, which means HBAR isn’t yet overbought. Good news! That means there’s still time to panic-buy before the inevitable crash. The resistance level at $0.25? Just a speed bump for the brave-or the foolish. 🚧
The US Labor Department slashed payrolls by 911,000 jobs in a revision so large it makes one wonder if they were guessing all along. A deep labor market weakness? Or just their ability to count?
According to the company, using this magical stablecoin will speed up payments and cut down on those pesky bank wire fees. Because who doesn’t love saving money, right? 💸
“Healthcare is just fucked in America. It’s just fucked. Everybody knows it’s true,” Hoskinson drawled in an interview with CoinDesk TV at the Rare Evo conference in Las Vegas. “Yet they all try to keep this circus going because it’s just too profitable.” 🎪💰
The absurdly popular meme-inspired cryptocurrency PEPE has bounded ahead by over 4% in the last 24 hours, trading up nearly 10% in the past week. One can only imagine the sort of chap who finds this amusing. 🤡
In a video so scintillating it could only be posted on X (formerly known as Twitter, darling), Hilton warns of a trap as obvious as a faux pas at the Ritz. XRP, he explains, has been lounging between $2.80 and $3.30 for 48 days-a consolidation phase, if you must know. Some poor dears might mistake this for a lack of zest, but Hilton, with his 30 years of financial flair, insists it’s merely a dramatic pause before the grand finale. 🕺
Had this farce gone unnoticed a moment longer, the fallout would have been as spectacular as it was inevitable. From humble web apps to grandiose crypto platforms, no stone would have been left unturned in the temple of JavaScript. Ledger’s CTO, Charles Guillemet, put it with the bluntness of a man who’s seen too many disasters: “There’s a large-scale supply chain attack in progress. If you use a hardware wallet, scrutinize every transaction as if your life depends on it. If you don’t, avoid on-chain transactions like the plague.” đź¦
This union, facilitated through the intermediary of Binance Bahrain, allows the retail users of our fair society to link their SGB accounts, thereby enabling them to perform instant deposits and withdrawals, transforming their fiat currency into the glittering world of cryptocurrencies with the ease and grace of a waltz at a grand ball. 🎶✨
Nasdaq, that titan of ticker tapes and candlestick charts, now kneels before the SEC, imploring to mint tokenized stocks. A noble pursuit? Or a desperate bid for relevance in an era where even your grandma knows about blockchain? 🤷♂️
