Crypto news

Lee, the Managing Partner of Fundstrat Global Advisors-a title that drips with the gravitas of a man who speaks to the gods of finance-proclaims that the U.S. central bank’s impending interest rate cut on September 17, 2025, shall be the catalyst for this miraculous surge. Ah, the irony! The very institution that wields the power to crush economies with a flick of its wrist is now the savior of the crypto faithful. How the mighty fiat falls, and how the digital rises-or so they say. 🏦✨

Why, Bitcoin struts back to a dazzling $113,000 right before Wall Street punches the clock, as whispers swirl about a possible gold-foolery move. 🤑

But hold your horses, folks! It turns out capital flows might paint a slightly more confusing picture. As it turns out, investors have been moving their shiny metal obsession elsewhere, and it’s affecting Bitcoin’s performance. Classic case of “I’m interested in gold today, not so much your shiny Bitcoin, thank you.”

The Rex-Osprey DOGE ETF is expected to launch this week.

In this grand ballet of finance, institutions can pirouette through spot and derivatives trades on Bybit while their precious assets recline safely in the vaults of Sygnum-off-balance sheet, no less! And what’s this? Balances updated in real time? Profit and loss settled every eight hours? Sacré bleu! It is as if convenience itself has donned a powdered wig and taken center stage.

Here’s every move Cathie Wood and Ark Invest made in the stock market yesterday 9/8

The announcement not only cleared months of feverish speculation, but also shattered all reasonable expectations. Who knew that something as simple as a blockchain could leave us all questioning the meaning of life?

“There’s a large-scale supply chain attack in progress,” declared Guillemet, with the solemnity of a man announcing the arrival of locusts. “If you wield a hardware wallet, scrutinize each transaction like a philologist parsing ancient runes-then you’re safe. If not, refrain from blockchain frolics for the nonce.”

Eightco Holdings, who clearly woke up one morning thinking, “Why not?” revealed plans on Monday for a share sale aimed at hauling in roughly $250 million to pioneer a “first-of-its-kind Worldcoin treasury strategy.” This involves a private placement of exactly 171.23 million common shares priced at the humble asking price of $1.46 each-because apparently, getting that many shares typed out *just so* is important to the process.

This opinion piece comes to you courtesy of James Murrell, a seasoned crypto wizard with over six years of experience navigating the choppy waters of fintech startups. James began his blockchain odyssey in 2013, though we suspect he didn’t predict NFTs of pixelated apes back then 🐒.