Crypto news

Bitcoin is king. Or, as I like to call him, “the granddaddy of the blockchain crowd.” 🦁

In a post on X (formerly known as Twitter, but who’s keeping track? 🤷‍♂️), OpenSea dropped a bombshell: “Connect your EVM wallet by October 15 or miss out on the biggest rewards since sliced bread!” 🍞 Apparently, if you’re still logged in via Solana or Web2, you’re basically getting the NFT equivalent of a participation trophy. 🏆 And let’s face it, nobody wants that.

CryptoQuant’s sage, Ki Young Ju, unveiled a chart of the unrealized profit ratio, a map of despair for new Bitcoin ⛵️ whales, who’ve plunged into the abyss of losses. “Volatility is coming,” he proclaimed, as if reading tea leaves in a tavern. 🧙‍♂️

This ascent unfolds against the backdrop of whispered expectations for the launch of Synthetix’s perpetuals exchange upon Ethereum’s venerable soil, coupled with a trading tourney on the 20th of October, where fortunes dance like shadows in a Dostoevskian fever dream. Yet, as the stars whisper secrets to the analyst’s ear, these on-chain chronicles and technical auguries portend that such fervor may fade like morning mist under the sun’s indifferent gaze.

With the partners of Aurora AZ Energy Ltd. in tow-those wizards of gas wellhead power-the project aims to convert those wasted gas fumes into good ol’ electricity for mining operations, turning energy that would normally have been flared off into something more productive. Who knew flaring gas could be so chic?🔥

“It’s done, as far as we know,” mused the Ethereum Foundation President Aya Miyaguchi during a routine coffee break in 2026. “The whole shebang of citizen credentials is set to finish by the time humans finally decide what sandwiches to eat for lunch in the first quarter.”

The maestro of Reform UK, sitting pretty with five seats in the Commons (because five is obviously the new one hundred), proclaimed they’d turn Britain into a Bitcoin bonanza. Cue the music for state-backed Bitcoin reserves and an applause section dedicated to cutting capital-gains taxes to a meager 10%. The “new” plan? Yada yada, it’s the same playbook that looks like it was left over from Trump’s poker game.

The world, that ever-predictable circus of chaos and bureaucracy, continues its slow waltz into heavier taxes, tighter rules, and more forms than a tax collector’s fever dream. Just as folks were getting used to having their lives pre-approved by a government app, along comes Coinbase (Nasdaq: COIN), waving a digital flag and shouting: “Fear not! Bitcoin is here to rescue your wallet-and possibly your soul!”

Regional capital allocators are apparently done playing it safe. They’re now after infrastructure tokens, not just those “store-of-value” assets. Enflux, who is definitely in the know, made it clear that this shift isn’t just about individual crypto, it’s about a whole new mindset: less hoarding, more doing.