Crypto oracle Xanrox reveals that the FVG, a gap in the price action that’s as stubborn as a goblin with a grudge, opened above $114k after the last crash. This gap, like a poorly sealed cheese wedge, is ripe for filling. But here’s the catch: once filled, it might just be the first step in a grander, more sinister dance. The Head and Shoulders pattern, that classic setup for a dramatic exit or a tragic fall, looms like a shadow over this scenario.
So, August 2025 wasn’t just a hot month for beach trips; it was apparently a jackpot for crypto scammers who managed to swipe more than $12 million from unsuspecting investors. Poof! 💸
NYDIG’s global head of research, Greg Cipolaro, chimed in on Friday (probably while sipping a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster) that the gap between stock prices and net asset values (NAV) of Bitcoin-hoarding giants like Metaplanet and Strategy is shrinking faster than a towel in a Vogon laundry. And this is happening even as BTC hits new highs, which is about as logical as a Vogon poetry reading. 🤯
The move mirrors token reactions after the purported DOGE father flips his profit picture to a particular meme coin. But seriously, what is it about profile pictures and crypto? 🤔
According to the crystal ball… uh, I mean, Open Interest data, WIF has found itself glued to the support level at $0.81 while having a little tantrum trying to break through that pesky $0.83 resistance. The price has been taking a swing at it repeatedly, like someone attempting to open a jar of pickles with no luck. Every time it gets rejected, it only reinforces the massive weight of selling pressure in the immediate future. But don’t worry, there’s a twist! Even with all that rejection, there are still buyers brave enough to scoop it up when the price dips toward $0.80. It’s like a tug-of-war, but everyone’s just sort of standing still.
On the fateful Saturday of September the 6th, our dapper crypto analyst, one Ali Martinez, took to the social sphere known as X to bestow upon us the on-chain insights into our beloved BTC. This riveting price evaluation, revolving around the oh-so-glamorous BTC UTXO Realized Price Distribution (URPD) metric, unveils the key support levels that await us.
So, Michael Saylor (aka the guy who’s more into Bitcoin than a cat is into laser pointers) has finally cracked the Bloomberg Billionaire 500 list. His company, Strategy Inc. (formerly MicroStrategy, but let’s be real, no one’s calling it that anymore), is basically a Bitcoin treasure chest. 🧑💻💎
Coinbase, that ever-reliable exchange we all love to hate, has drastically reduced its XRP holdings-dropping a jaw-dropping 69% since the second quarter of 2025. I know, I know. This seems suspicious. But don’t get too carried away just yet, folks. Analysts believe this move points to institutional outflows, but some have taken it a step further and started calling it ‘manipulation’. Drama, drama, drama!
Gold, that age-old charm school dropout, is once again the belle of the ball for central banks desperate to escape the U.S. dollar’s clutches. El Salvador, in a recent announcement worthy of a dramatic opera, splurged 13,999 troy ounces ($50 million) to join the foreign reserve circus. Will this make the country a financial titan or just a gold-plated piñata? Only time will tell. 🎭✨
Hive Digital, a purveyor of blockchain and artificial intelligence (AI) infrastructure, has announced the completion of its bitcoin mining site in Yguazú. In a press release as dry as the Paraguayan summer, the company revealed it now mines over 8.5 BTC daily. The operation, a sprawling 200MW, is powered by the Itaipu dam, a monument to human ambition and the occasional electrocution of curious fish. 🌊⚡
