Crypto News

Binance, the crypto exchange that’s always full of surprises, has officially released the results of its Vote To List program. And guess what? The top four projects are as random as a cat walking on a keyboard. 🐱⌨️ The winners are CZ’s Dog (BROCCOLI), Banana For Scale (BANANA), Tutorial (TUT), and Mubarak (MUBARAK). These tokens will now move from Binance Alpha to the Spot Market, where they’ll either soar to the moon or crash and burn. 🚀🔥

Apparently, by integrating USDT0 into the Superchain, Tether thinks they’re
going to leverage this “growing distribution network” of Ethereum scaling
solutions. Superchain. What is this, a kids’ cartoon? It’s a “network of
networks,” or so they say. Using the OP technical launchpad to share
security, standards, and incentives. Incentives? Sounds like a bribe to me.
It currently accounts for nearly half of all Ethereum Layer 2 transactions
and is widely adopted by companies like Coinbase, Kraken, Uniswap, Zora, and
even major corporations like Sony. Sony? What do they need with crypto?! 🤦‍♂️

As traders frolicked in the sun-drenched meadows of low-cap altcoins and memecoins (because, why not? 🤷‍♂️), Ethereum (ETH) stood steadfast, a beacon of hope above the $2,000 threshold. A brief, yet dramatic, 4% tumble on Thursday only served to underscore the market’s unyielding enthusiasm.

Seems like more investors are choosing to ‘hodl’ their BTC tighter than a miser grips a penny. This shrinking supply is a clear sign that folks are betting big on Bitcoin’s long-term value. But with fewer people willing to sell, the market could get as volatile as a cat on a hot tin roof. 🐱

Key indicators like RSI and DMI are hinting that the bullish momentum is cooling off. But hey, depending on how the market feels, a new trend could still pop up. Because, you know, the market is as predictable as my ex’s mood swings.

Now, let us cast our gaze upon the week prior (March 18–24), where the market danced with volatility! On the eighteenth, a staggering $209.1 million graced our presence, and on the twentieth, a respectable $165.7 million followed suit, showcasing the fervor of institutional engagement. Yet, on the nineteenth, the winds shifted, and we were left with a mere $11.8 million. As of the twenty-fifth, it appears that IBIT has become the belle of the ball, while other funds languish in the shadows, barely stirring! 🕺

In a revelatory X post, Dark Defender unveiled the sacred scrolls of reasoning, proclaiming XRP the “One” due to its singular distinction: regulatory clarity. The benevolent Judge Analisa Torres hath spoken, declaring XRP no security, while the US SEC, in a surprising twist, hath dropped the Ripple lawsuit, casting a warm, bullish glow over the altcoin. 🙌

According to the wise and somewhat bemused Arnaud Caudoux, the plan is to snag those sprightly little tokens issued by French projects—tokens that have yet to be anointed by the crypto exchanges. It seems they’re in the business of keeping the little fish well-fed before the big catches come circling around. Who knew the French had such a soft spot for the underdog? 🐟💪

They announced this on March 26th via Euronext, and it’s like they’ve been watching too many crypto memes. Meanwhile, whales are out here making moves, and The Blockchain Group is like, “We’re in!” 🐳💸

After sifting through the ashes of Bitfarms’ Q4 2024 earnings report, Colonnese declared that the market is “significantly undervaluing” this company’s mining operations, which are scaling up like a beanstalk in a fairy tale, and its budding AI strategy. Who knew Bitcoin mining could be so… futuristic? 🤖✨